But it's probably relevant to revisit something my grandpappy always told me - "never trust a grown man that goes by the name 'Scooter.'" This was usually followed by, "Have you seen my pants?" But nevermind that.

I mean, seriously, "Scooter?" Why not just call yourself "Groucho," or "Flippydoo the WonderSchnitzel?"

"Hello, I'm Scooter, chief of staff for the Vice President of the United States, nice to meet you, Prime Minister Blair. Want to play a pick-up game of jacks while you wait? No? Marbles? How about tetherball? We could build a tree fort! Or ride our bikes up to Old McVickers farm, maybe buy some strawberry ice pops down by the lake and try and goggle Nancy Johnson's bloomers!"

"It'll be the bees knees!"

"Scooter."

Jesus.

But I'd like to mention - who hasn't seen "demons" in a crowd?

Every trip I've taken to Potomac Mills Outlet Mall has been like an extended cut of Jacob's Ladder, for example, with thousands of chittering, portly hellspawn buying flawed chinos at wholesale prices and ferociously gorging on Panda Express, the pearly lobster sauce alternately squirting and trickling from the slack corners of their demony maws. I'm just sayin'.

But I'd like to point out frequent commenter TallDave's amazing patience and resilience whilst debating the Pandagonites in this miserable thread. Hats off to you, sir! Futile, but impressive.

I have a comment towards the end addressing Jesse Taylor's defense of his constant use of profanity as political expression. It ends with "Taylor is the blogospheric embodiment of Jenny's angry boyfriend in Forrest Gump. He runs around frothing, and then falls back on 'It's just this lying son of a bitch, Johnson!' when he apologizes for his violent outbursts."

"And I don't know about you, but that line makes me laugh every time."

Of course the comparison isn't quite accurate, as Taylor doesn't so much "apologize" as boldly reassert the legitimacy of his hateful invective. But you get the idea.

(If you're really desperate for a fix, you can skim another of my mind-numbingly boring epidemiological obesity lectures over at Bill Quick's comments section)

(But if I were you, I'd choose something vastly more entertaining to read)

*** Debunking the myths of Katrina.

*** Check out a city planner's accounting of what's required to fix New Orleans. (Via VP)

*** Dean Esmay authors a must-read:

Pretending you know what's in another person's heart just because of his skin color and because you don't agree with his politics is racist. It just is. So is holding black people to different standards than you hold white people to.

Yes, Kanye West is a terrible racist ...

*** ... and an arrogant fool:

From Kanye's interview in the latest Radar:

Do you think of yourself as a political person? More social. I hear about something that's going on with people and want to touch on it. But I can't give you a George Bush quote or a John Kerry quote. In fact, they may be the only two politicians I know.

(Via Dorkafork)

*** Catalano is running a worthy charity effort for the area affected by the hurricane: Kids of Katrina School Supply Drive.

*** Check out this week's RINO Sightings.

*** The New High-Powered Hindsight Scope!

Spot-on.

INDCBill: ok
INDCBill: call me crazy, but
INDCBill: I'm fairly certain that my post about Hogwarts and Orlando Bloom will come to be viewed as the blogosphere's Sistine Chapel in coming years
INDCBill: or perhaps like Titian's "The Assumption of the Virgin"
INDCBill: a seminal piece that ushered in an era of remarkable creative innovation
INDCBill: whose subtle, influential tentacles caressed and inspired the imaginations of a digital generation
INDCBill: but now, as many an artistic genius before me
INDCBill: I suffer in my own time
INDCBill: another anonymous victim of a tasteless public's apathy and misunderstanding
proteinwisdom: Settle down, Bill.
proteinwisdom: You're forgetting my conversations with John Merrick's Ghost.
proteinwisdom: He utters the same lines every time
proteinwisdom: and I have to figure out a new way to make it funny.
proteinwisdom: THAT, my friend, takes fucking WORK.
INDCBill: wow, I bet it does. let me know when you figure it out

Video of British troops given acid:

"The attacking section had lost all sense of urgency. Notice the bunching and indecision, as they enter a wood occupied by the enemy. The radio operator had become incapable of using his set, and the efficiency of the rocket launcher team was also very impaired."

(Via Flea)

UPDATE: Then again, apparently it can be a performance enhancer in some cases ...

(Via Veeshir)

Other charity options.

UPDATE: Two commenters have given pretty good reasons to opt for one of the other charities instead of the Red Cross.

I doubt that any random passerbys would dare swear at FOX's Shepard Smith now ...

INDCBill: dude
INDCBill: I am totally getting into these Harry Potter books
proteinwisdom: So you've said.
INDCBill: they're good
INDCBill: I want to start a school for magic here in the States
INDCBill: modeled after an English boarding school
INDCBill: except with better food
INDCBill: and less ritual buggery
proteinwisdom: Again with the buggery angle.
proteinwisdom: I bet you have pictures of weightlifters hanging on your walls -- which you tell yourself are there "just to keep me motivated."
proteinwisdom: Am I right?
INDCBill: no
INDCBill: I have a poster of Orlando Bloom
INDCBill: in a pirate outfit
proteinwisdom: Mmm
proteinwisdom: Well, I can't blame you for that.

I don't have anything particularly original or valuable to add to the voluminous commentary on the tragedy unfolding along the Gulf Coast. Reynolds seems to have a comprehensive link round-up of worthy charities, so spare a dime if you have one.