CARSE: Yes. They are doing the same thing that the United States is doing in Iraq. They want to install an alien system through the region … they want to control it.

INDC: Ok. Some would argue that, left to their own devices … and actually this has of course happened in Rwanda and looks to be happening in Sudan ... um, that there’s been be a lot of sectarian violence, mass starvation, genocide, civil war … a lot of violence that these countries haven’t been able to sort out on their own. What would you advocate as a solution to …

CARSE: First, first of all … the solution is not us. The solution is themselves. Secondly, who provides the money? Where the money flowing? Who provides the weapons? Who provides the ideology? And is more intervention the solutions for the past interventions which led to the situation we have now?

INDC: So you think that ethnic and religious rivalries are caused by the West?

CARSE: Absolutely! Like the state system in Africa is so arbitrarily set … and it’s arbitrarily … it’s actually set by the colonialists to create strife. To get people divided. To get people together that don’t even speak the same language, who have completely different histories, completely different everything.

INDC: So, at this point if … intervention was removed from certain countries, you think that these ethnic (divisions) would be worked out peacefully

CARSE: Not under the conditions of a continuous drain of resources, you know. This is why I say reparations. Isn’t it time to say, you know, here, we stop, we finally try to stop exploiting you? Trying to, uh, stop taking all your resources, using your land , using your, uh, water, using your fishes, eat whatever you have? And … uh, let them sort it out. It may take awhile, I mean if you think … I’m a European, if you think, I mean, how many wars did we need to get to the bad situation where we are now? And how many wars does America need to get somewhere else than what it is?

So why aren’t they allowed to have their wars?

INDC: Ok, thanks. What nationality are you?

CARSE: I’m German.

INDC: Ok, thanks.

To review Carse's foreign policy prescription for Africa - give the people (governments? tribes? factions?) large monetary reparations for past Western colonialism and rapacious business interests in Africa, step out of the way, and then just ... let them "have their wars."

After all, violence in Africa stems exclusively from the involvement of the west. Or does it?

In its vulgar form, nationalism claims a biological basis for its persecution, oppression, exploitation, and enslavement of others. This is the case with two African nations, Sudan and Mauretania. In those countries there is established a dichotomy between Arab and African, between Islam and African Religions. This division is sharpened by appeals to biology, to physical looks, though many times I have been unable to distinguish the so-called Arab from the African. It is a South African type problem where the so-called Colored, robbed of his or her African culture and unable to speak an African language, is called better than the person who has retained his or her language and culture, even though they may look exactly alike. This is a problem of racism. Sudanese and Mauretanian societies have made the enslavement of Africans a racial issue, complicated by the cultural question in its basest form, naive nationalism.

"Hands off Sudan." After all, Rwanda was left to its own devices, and we all know how well that turned out.

Although disease and more killings claim additional lives in the refugee camps, the genocide is over. An estimated 800,000 Rwandans have been killed in 100 days.

Right Carse?

Ja. "... why aren’t they allowed to have their wars?"

Today's lesson: Not all "peace" activists are anti-war.

UPDATE: Human Rights Watch disagrees with Carse.

(Via GR)

Did you enjoy this interview? Do you think that my interviews with members of the anti-war movement serve the public interest? If you do, SUPPORT INDEPENDENT JOURNALISM by giving to the trust fund set up for the children of Captain Dan Eggers.

No PayPal? Send a check made out to Rebecca Eggers to the following address:

INDC Journal
1260 21st St NW
Suite 803
Washington, DC 20036

It was awkward, but he apologized for cutting off the interview, and then I apologized for castigating him over selling out the 11th-hour defense of Western Civilization from the nexus of Islamofascism and destructive weaponry over a niche issue that just finally happened to touch his life ... and all was good. And then we went for one of those new Starbucks smoothies.

Yum!

UPDATE: Iowahawk boils down Sullivan so you don't have to!

(Ft. Myers New-Press)

(Ft. Myers New-Press)

It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.

His widow, Rebecca; the couple’s sons, William and John; and Eggers’ parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters gathered at a solemn funeral Tuesday morning with at least 70 other relatives and friends in a clearing at Arlington National Cemetery.

“He loved the Army so much,” said Margaret Eggers, fighting to hold back tears. “This is very fitting.”

Six dark horses slowly pulled a black wooden caisson and its flag-draped casket down Eisenhower Drive then wheeled right on to York Drive.

A lone drummer tapped time, the solemn notes muffled by two rows of tall oak trees. The casket team, wearing ceremonial dress blues, brought Eggers’ remains forward and placed the heavy coffin on a chrome frame.

“I spend a lot of time reminding them their daddy taught them certain things so they remember,” she said.

Please consider giving:

If you don't have a PayPal account you can send a check made out to Rebecca Eggers to:

INDC Journal
1260 21st St NW
Suite 803
Washington, DC 20036

“He was a James Bond type of guy who had to infiltrate other people,” said father William Eggers. “We don’t really know what he was doing there.

“It was all confidential, and he kept it that way.”

... in retrospect, there were some early indications.

Dan in Afghanistan (NBC2/WBBH-TV)

Like the time that he taught me to rappel off the back of the football stadium after school. He brought his gear, strapped me in, hooked me up and ran down to hold the safety lines, then yelled, "go, go, go!" I remember him looking at me with that wacky kidding/serious tone in his voice, saying matter-of-factly, "Ok Bill, this is the part that you have to do correctly, or you'll die." The football team practicing that afternoon just scratched their heads after watching a few guys drop off the back of the stadium. I was scared; he just loved it.

Or when Dan had the stones to lean in and sarcastically ask our perverted gym teacher, "Like what you see?" after catching the guy inappropriately leering at girls that he insisted on helping "stretch out" before class. It turns out that Dan would show a much stronger brand of the same moral courage when he stood up against the hazing of female cadets during the first year of gender integration at the Citadel:

His uncompromising character pushed him to speak critically of the school he loved in 1997, recalled Craig Belsole, Eggers' best friend at The Citadel.

Eggers and Belsole said they reported their concerns to an officer at the school but were told to keep quiet or lose their military commissions. School officials said at the time their commissions were threatened earlier for disciplinary problems that had nothing to do with the women.

If Dan reported it, I have no doubt that the allegations were true.

And another good indication of Dan's future vocation might have been when we were shooting fireworks off of a friend's roof and a neighbor that lived across a wide canal began yelling profanities at us because of the noise. Taking decisive action, Dan went downstairs, loaded a ziplock bag full of fireworks, put it in his teeth, dove into the canal and swam across to the neighbor's dock, where he climbed out and lit a four-inch pyre of firecrackers under the man's window as we looked on in amused disbelief. Needless to say, we didn't stick around for the police.

Whip-smart (later fluent in Arabic), extremely tough, kind, and imbued with an extremely quirky, active sense of humor that put others at ease, I have no doubt that he represented America very well. It's a damn shame that he died, but I'm also certain that he died doing exactly what he loved to do, and I'm thankful that he gave everything to protect me from terror, especially given my current city of residence. I haven't seen Dan in 10 years, but I'll miss him all the same. He was a great guy. Thank you, Dan.

Dan leaves behind a wife and two children.

Dan and his father (NBC2/WBBH-TV)

UPDATE: Another of Dan's high school friends pays tribute (Note - his anecdote about rappeling describes a separate incident from the one that I mentioned).

Hmmmm ... I'm starting to think that my goal of $1,000,000 was a little too ambitious. Maybe I should also revise downwards my request for $1,000 apiece from my core of regular readers. In fact, maybe I'll even go a little further and point out that PayPal accepts donations in increments as low as, say, $2. As a reminder, the best of my original journalism is listed here.

Furthermore, let's get more specific about the costs. A 30+ picture post that brings in up to 20,000 viewers costs between $35-$80, depending on traffic and whether it needs a few minutes of Kinko's photoshop work (as the WWII posts did). My ego likes to be stoked by getting lots of eyes on my photography, but consider the fact that I've done at least 12 picture-heavy posts ... I'd estimate that I've spent at least $600 in the last 6 months, just on bandwith and supplies for these pictorials.

If you would like to help defray the costs, it would be most appreciated. Obviously I don't do this to get rich, but it would be nice if it wasn't quite so expensive. If Andrew Sullivan can pull six figures in his pledge week, is it crazy to think that a tiny fraction of the 6,000 people that have passed through here in the past two days could perhaps muster $1 or $2 apiece every six months to offset the costs that I pay to bring you these pics? I've spread around $75 to my favorite blogs that have had pledge drives in the last year.

I'm not looking to make money here, and I certainly want to keep doing the photo pieces, but I have to admit that it's a little confusing for me to think that my regulars don't seem to believe that the widely-appreciated (expensive) moonbat joke reels, or the fact that I waited in the rain and got Michael Berg to possibly admit that he thinks a government conspiracy killed his son, are worth depositing a dollar in my Paypal account.

I know how annoying pledge drives can be, so this is my last request. Thanks to the two of you that have already given in the past couple of days. I'm done.

After I mentioned the phrase "legal action", there was a noticeable difference in the tone of the meeting. She promptly excused herself from the room, documents in hand. She didn't return for 20 minutes.
...
He stated that signs unaffiliated with the school would not be allowed to be posted. Anticipating this line of reasoning, I produced for him pictures I had taken the day before of many signs not affiliated with the school posted all over the walls. Included among them a picture of a movie poster for "Alamo", with which I asked him if the school was affiliated with Touchstone Pictures?
...
Just as I could see I was breaking through to them an angry woman in her thirties came up to me. She called me a racist, yelling and screaming as she really got in my face. I didn't know who she was, but that didn't matter -- I stood strong. I calmly asked what she objected to, and she ripped the signs out of the hands of a student standing by her. She began the same rant I had just heard from the students: how I was a racist, etc. She then claimed that I wouldn't dare put up a sign about black or Jews, and if I ever did I would get my ass kicked (it sure does feel good to know that everyone is concerned for my safety). I explained point by point why I disagreed. She told me I knew nothing about Islam, because I am not Muslim and she is.

On the sign saying "End the Arab Occupation of Jewish Land" she said "what if instead of Arab it said nigger!" I told her that wouldn't make sense because black people aren't occupying Jewish land, and that Arab was not a racial slur.
...
Her response: "It isn't a racial slur, it's honesty!" Even though they both start with 'h' and end in 'y', "hypocrisy" does not equal "honesty". In fact, hypocrisy is a form of intellectual dis-honesty.

Read the whole thing. At the end there he posts his principal's e-mail address, in case you'd like to send the man a calm, reasonable note in support of this kid's valiant efforts.

(Via Vodka)

1. Read the whole thing out loud to the family in a Crocodile Dundee accent. I had to explain away some of Jeff's lines to the kids, but at least they got the moral of the story, which was: Stay away from moonbats, burritos and Jeff Goldstein.

Yes, that encapsulates today's lesson perfectly.

2. Laughing at the Moonbats...the most fun you can have with your clothes on that doesn't involve guns.

I agree 100 percent, though I've occassionally infiltrated the moonbat community naked ... with a sidearm.

3. That is the best thing I have ever seen.

Glad that I could provide a service. And perhaps most importantly ...

4. You must be in the secret RNC slush fund to afford this much bandwidth. Hillaryous, er, hilarious.

"Hillaryous?" Yes, certainly. But do I have access to a secret RNC slush fund? Alas, no. But that's where you can help!

Stalking moonbats is not easy, nor cheap. A typical excursion can incur the following expenses:

- Hemp fiber for the moonbat blind

- A day's pay for my loyal Ghurkan batman

- Batteries for the digital equipment (typically a whole pack)

- Several canisters of Bear Spray

- Patchouli, patchouli, patchouli

- Several clips of .45 caliber HydroShok ACP rounds

- 128 MB Memory Cards for my camera

- Con-doms *

- On a busy month, 70-80 GB of bandwith

* No, sicko; I hand out the condoms as part of a moonbat breeding prevention program.

Of course, these are merely the basics; this list fails to cover incidentals, like the 10+ man-hours, plane tickets to fly in my guest commentators, the inherent risk to life and limb and the inevitable years of therapy that will be required after such extended exposure to moonbats rutting and shrieking in the rain ...

So, what am I asking? Well I detest begging, and pledge drives can be painfully tacky, but ... I was doing some math, and ... if my average daily readership would donate .... a mere $1,000 apiece, I could effectively quit my job and concentrate on moonbat research full time ... forever. Just $1,000!

Think about it! Is this original INDC Coverage worth $1,000 to you?

More Pictures From the Spanish Embassy Memorial Service

E-Mailing Kos: Part 1

An Amazing Spring Day: War, Peace and Cherry Blossoms

INDC Protests: International Answer Protests in DC

INDC Protests: ANSWER, MASSF and Jews United Against Zionism

INDC Protests: Moonbattery and Media Chicanery Outside the Supreme Court

INDC Rally: Into the Gates of Mordor and John Kerry's Pro-Choice Party

INDC Science Series: Seasonal Moonbat IMF Migration, Part One

INDC Science Series: Seasonal Moonbat IMF Migration, Part Two

INDC Protests: "March for Women's Lives," Part One

INDC Protests: "March for Women's Lives," Part Two

INDC Presents: National World War II Memorial Dedication Weekend
Part One

INDC Presents: National World War II Memorial Dedication Weekend
Part Two

INDC Journal Interviews Michael Berg

INDC Speaks More "Truth to Power" with "Military Families Speak Out"

INDC Presents: Saying Goodbye to the Gipper

INDC Presents: "Moonbats in the Mist"

No? How about some of my other "journalism" INDC?

INDC Q & A: Moonbat IMF Migration, Part One

INDC Journal Interviews the Instapundit

INDC Public Service Announcement: Coping With SBMS

INDC Scientific Field Report: The Shy Peeing Moonbat

The Beltway Boys Go To A Strip Club

INDC Journal Interviews Andrew Sullivan *

Original Cartoons?

INDC Presents Left-Wing Heroes: Yeeearghus Angrius

INDC Presents Heroes of the Fifth Column: Markos Moulitsas Zúniga

My Tony Robbins inspirationals?

Rage and Focus

SPIRIT OF AMERICA: The Real Shock and Awe Are These Men

Blogging guides?

E! True Hollywood Story: The "Instalanche"

Confessions of a Link Whore

INDC Journal Guerrilla Blogging Guide: Comment Spam

And perhaps my proudest accomplishment?

INDC Journal Changes Lives

Not worth a measly grand to you? Another 6 months of similar high-quality entertainment isn't worth a mere $1,000? Can you imagine what I could pump out if I didn't have a real job as a distraction? Well ... follow your conscience. If you judge that I've somehow made your life a little brighter with my efforts, and you feel like hitting the PayPal "Make a Donation" button over there on the upper-right, your contribution will be greatly appreciated.

If I can get credentials to the Democratic National Convention, I'll apply the funds towards travel expenses. If not, I'll probably put it towards replacing my 8 year-old computer and finally buying photoshop.

Of course payment is not necessary; I'm truly grateful that people are reading and commenting on my stuff. The dirty secret is, I'd go out and do this stuff if I never make a red cent. It's hard work, but it's fun. Moonbats ... are in my blood.

Support moonbat research today! Thank you.

PS - The four people that have already spontaneously given to me over the course of the last 6 months are exempted from my bleg and will forever be enshrined in the "INDC Diamond Backers Club." Gordon, Neil, Marty and Alan: Truly Selfless Shining pillars of the Best That Humanity Has To Offer.

Fresh from the wilds of Berkely, CA, Dr. Harvey Streelburg, noted moonbatologist, world famous for his ongoing first-person anthropological moonbat immersion research. You may recognize Dr. Streelburg as the scientist that "went native" in the controversial documentary "Moonbats in the Mist." Before we go any further, I'd like to point out that Dr. Streelburg's foray into the moonbat world was purely motivated by scientific curiosity, and the charges that he actively took part in the firebombing of the Lockheed Martin plant were never brought to trial. Welcome, Dr. Streelburg.

Dr. Streelburg: Peace. (giggles)

Also joining me (for real), from the famous blog The Politburo Diktat, is the Commissar, fresh from upstate New York ...

The Commissar: Man, it's Moscow!

INDC Bill: What?

The Commissar: I say, I fly in from Moscow, good comrade!

INDC Bill: Ah, yes ... Moscow. Well, I'm certain that your expertise in Communism will be of great assistance on today's safari.

The Commissar: Proud revolutionary gathering!

INDC Bill: Yes, well ...

INDC Bill: And finally (also for real), from the blog Protein Wisdom, our resident expert on mental illness and illegal drug abuse, Jeff Goldstein! Welcome, Jeff!

Jeff Goldstein: Michael Moore is fat.

INDC Bill: Ok, then. Let's get started.

In order to carefully observe the moonbats without being spotted and despoiling their natural behavior, we fashioned this oversized moonbat blind, carefully woven from all-natural hemp fiber. If you'd all like to get in, we can begin our surreptitious documentation of the swarm ...

INDC: Alright. Everyone have a good line of sight? Right. It's a bit early here, quite wet, quite rainy, but we are still seeing a reasonably robust gathering of the swarm. Note the orthodox moonbat peace iconography, not something commonly seen in these avant garde days of "Fuck Bushitler" profanity ...

The Commissar: Where is Hammer & Sickle? No Red Star?

Dr. Streelburg: Patience, man. The fiesta is just starting to bump n' grind (giggle) ... the reds come out late, dude ... (giggle)

Jeff Goldstein: It's like a giant glazed ham, only instead of ham, it's idiots in rain slickers carrying stupid signs. Where are the pineapple slices? You can't have ham without pineapple slices.

INDC: Ah! Here we have something that may be up your alley, good Commissar!

The Commissar: Bah! Communism Lite.

Jeff Goldstein: "Does holding this sign make my ass look fat?"

Dr. Streelburg: That fuckin' dude is on the Berkeley City Council, man. He just straight dropped an ordinance that establishes interspecies voting rights in city elections. Mark my words, dudes, within five years we're gonna have a fuckin' stray dog for a mayor. Heh-heh-huh.

INDC: Ah, look over here. We've got George Bush ... no, no ... wait, that's a mask, yes, it's a George Bush facsimile ... explaining his sign's flair to what looks to be a ... Macroglossius lunarius commonus and a ... Macroglossius lunarius ... caecus, or "Blinded Common Moonbat." It's important to distinguish between the caecus and the caecigenus, as the caecigenus is born blind and compensates with acutely sensitive radar. In contrast, this fellow looks as though he may have been struck blind, likely via the patchouli retinopathy that I've discussed in the previous series. I can't quite make out what they are saying ...

The Commissar: "C'mon, lemme have a hit."

Jeff Goldstein: "Check it out: If you rearrange the letters in 'Abu Ghraib,' it spells, like, 'armageddon' and stuff. Except, without the 'n'. And there's an extra 'b' in there, too, I think. But still..."

INDC: Yes, perhaps. Notice the rather sweet caretaker relationship, very common among these giving, empathic creatures. They have a rather poignant mythology about this common condition; it's said that ... when a moonbat loses his sight, "he no longer has to look into the snarling face of oppression."

INDC: Here's a fantastic example of a common moonbat defense mechanism, she's playing dead, hoping that this aggressive scientist will leave her be, though ... she doesn't seem like a full-blown ...

Jeff Goldstein: Fuck your sister.

INDC: Now, Jeff !

Dr. Streelburg: No, fuck you man! Fuck you! And fuck that chimpyshrubfucker that sent her sister off to an oppressive war for oil n' empire, man!

INDC: Dr. Streelburg?!

Dr. Streelburg: Fucking nevermind, man. Just neverfuckingmind, you know?!

INDC: Right.

INDC: Ah! Here we have a moonbat recruiting station, proof that not all moonbats are born, rather, many, if not most, are made.

The Commissar: Da, 2004 Useful Idiot recruiting drive is below quota.

Jeff Goldstein: Fuck your sister.

INDC: I tell you, there's no way that you could get me to get involved with ...

INDC: Well ... actually ... it doesn't look quite ... so bad ...

Dr. Streelburg: I know, right? Moonbat chicks are fuckin' hot, man, hot like ... like ... heat... youknowhatimsayin? (giggles) Easy, too, man. Bagfulla E and a Jim Jones smiley and the good Doctor is in, ifyaknowwhatimsayin ... (giggles)

The Commissar: Nyet. Too clean-shaven for Commissar's taste.

Jeff Goldstein: Still no pineapple slices? Pass.

INDC: Alrighty, here we have an excellent example of rudimentary moonbat logic ... It's important for the layman to realize, if you ever encounter a moonbat in person, do not attempt debate! The circular logic on this poster alone will take your head clean off your shoulders!

The Commissar: Is it "AH-boo guh-ray-ibb" or "ah-BOO gray-ub?"

Jeff Goldstein: Mmmm. Like to put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit...!

INDC: Yes, yes. Fear is a mind-killer; fear, the Gom Jabar and copious quantities of marijuana, my middle-aged moonbat beauty.

Dr. Streelburg: That's some fuckin' truth to power, man, truth to ... POWER! Bam-POW! Ta-da! Ta-da! How you like me na! Dude, I totally gotta remember that.

INDC: Yes ... what do you think that this gent is trying to communicate, Dr. Goldstein?

Jeff Goldstein: "Do you think a beard would make me look more, y'know, protesty...?"

INDC: Indeed.

INDC: Here we've got some more rudimentary logic from this adorable little "ancient mini."

Dr. Streelburg: I'll tell you what's fuckin' rudimentary, man, the idea that bombs and guns and ... bombs solve anything! G-ma drops the wisdom of many moons, brother!

The Commissar: (chuckles) "Five bucks and this stupid sign is yours. My feet hurt."

Jeff Goldstein: "I once had Peter Fonda inside me."

INDC: Jeff, are you referring to her ... or ...

Jeff Goldstein: Her, obviously. Notice the quotation marks. When I use quotation marks, I'm captioning. Anyway, when I bang Peter Fonda, I'm the one doing the driving.

INDC: Oh, now this is quite annoying. How in Hades are we supposed to be able to translate a sign written in Jawa?! I should have phoned Dr. Shackleford ...

The Commissar: "So, this how we apply for a Fulbright scholarship?"

Jeff Goldstein: Translation: "Free Dirty Danny"

INDC: Doubtful. Dr. Streelburg?

Dr. Streelburg: Well, my Pali is pretty durn rusty and shit, you know, but when you've seen the words "Dirty Zionist Pig-Dog" once, you've seen it a thousand times, you know? (giggles) I can't make out the rest, though the last bit says ... 'kill' ... 'the' ... (squints) ... 'Jooos.' Yeah, that last series of characters is definitely 'Jooos,' man.

INDC: Remarkable. Considering the economy of characters, quite an efficient language, I'd say.

INDC: Ah, a DC moonbat regular, our old friend with the mask ...

Dr. Streelburg: Crusading Smirky McBushitler! I'll fuckin' kill 'im, man, fuckin' ...

INDC: Dr. Streelburg! Dr. Streelburg! Someone stop him! Ah ... damn. Well, it appears that we've lost the good Dr. Heh, no doubt off to do some, uh, undercover research.

INDC: Let's take a closer look at his iconography ... fascinating.

The Commissar: Again - where is Hammer & Sickle?! No Red Star?!

INDC: More crafty moonbat deception, here. As an expert in the field, I can assure our dear viewer that moonbats are not in fact related to the monarch butterfly or the Galopogos snapping turtle.

Jeff Goldstein: That's further proof that Tyne Daly should never wear stretchpants.

INDC: Looking a bit closer at this randy fellow, I think he's caught a peek at me through the blind and ... yes, he's got very kind eyes, now doesn't he?

The Commissar: Commissar likes his umbrella.

Jeff Goldstein: "I once had Peter Fonda inside me."

INDC: Let's zoom in and have a closer look at her sign ... ok, ridiculous. Here once again, the viewer should be clear on the fact that moonbats are in no way related to bears, tigers, grass, deer, dirt, seals, flowers, rivers, pandas, bald eagles or wolves.

Jeff Goldstein: "...one tin soldier rides away..."*

INDC: She seems rather happy about it, doesn't she? Very odd for a commonus.

The Commissar: Ah, at last, Minitruth!

Jeff Goldstein: "Kind of off-topic here, but that really was the best burrito I've ever had..."

INDC: I think this fellow has the idea, that's more like it! Give 'em Hell chappie!

The Commissar: Da, "love," but just don't invade his personal space.

Jeff Goldstein: "Feh. Burritos are the rolled-foodstuff of colonialist aggression. I'll have nothing to do with burritos."

INDC: Here we've got some very typical moonbat behavior; the majority of the species is against war profiteering. However ...

The Commissar: Death to war profiteers!

Jeff Goldstein: "I'm neutral on the whole burrito thing. I mean, I think both sides make valid points. On the one hand, burritos are indeed the rolled, cheese-and-meat stuffed food of capitalist agression. But at the same time, they're remarkably tasty..."

INDC: ... many are ok with the fact that Weird Al seems to be war-protest profiteering ...

The Commissar: Da, death to CAPITALIST war profiteers!

Jeff Goldstein: "Me? I'm more of a tostada guy."

INDC: Now, this is quite interesting. These military families are mixing with the moonbat community quite peacefully. This is somewhat strange, however, especially since ...

INDC: ... many of the more aggressive moonbat species are rather adamant in their support for the forces that are killing their children.

The Commissar: But not in October.

Jeff Goldstein: "Whatever. Now, somebody mentioned tostadas...?"

INDC: For example, this moonbat's sign advocates that enlisted men shoot their officers, citing it as the only "proven method" of successful resistance to war. Make no mistake: some moonbat species are far from benign. All of the protestors seem to want to "Bring the Troops Home Now." Unfortunately, some would seem to prefer that it be in body bags.

The Commissar: Khorosho! Just like Kronstadt sailors before Winter Palace.

Jeff Goldstein: "...one tin soldier rides away..."*

INDC: This is a particularly important scene. I often get letters from angry partisans that berate me for casually throwing around terms like "commie" and "tin-foil hat brigade." Well, here I present proof that these assertions are not fictional hyperbole!

The Commissar: What rank is this comrade? He is rank, though.

INDC: Yes, the smell of patchouli, BO and damp wool is a bit strong in this weather ...

Jeff Goldstein: "I once had Peter Fonda inside me. Only he made me call him Yuri, for some reason."

Jeff Goldstein: "He made you call him Yuri? Bastard. He made me call him Yentl."

INDC: Ah yes ... gay rights and the Iraqi Resistance go together like peanut butter and chocolate! Mmmmmmmmmm!

Jeff Goldstein: "This way to the burritos, men! And to some Peter Fonda man-love, if that's your bag."

INDC: Jeff, what in God's name are you talking about?

Jeff Goldstein: ...

INDC: Right. Moving along ...

INDC: Ah, here we see something commonly known as the "moonbat rapture" which occurs at the end of a "vision quest." Judging by the age of this fellow, I have little doubt that he's retained the ability to embark on a hallucinatory journey without the aid of exogenous substances; merely closing his eyes will suffice. Amazing!

Jeff Goldstein: "They weren't lying about those burritos. Like heaven rolled into six or seven warm tortillas."

INDC: Ah! A celebrity moonbat among us! It's Rob Reiner!

The Commissar: Marty, that slogan went to eleven a long time ago.

Jeff Goldstein: "You know who likes burritos? That Sally Struthers, that's who. I once saw her eat fifteen burritos and drink a pitcher of Grand Marnier margaritas. I shit you not."

INDC: The primitive paranormal beliefs of moonbats are quite interesting; most seem to have the unshakeable belief that they can channel the will of genocidal dictators. Very strange.

Jeff Goldstein: Um, Hitler would've made you into a lampshade, you Gypsy treehumper.

INDC: Commissar, where are you going? Commissar? Commissar?

The Commissar: Must ask why she neglects Stalin.

INDC: Alright, then. At least he'll blend in.

INDC: Now, what is our friend in the technicolor dream coat singing?

Jeff