This is funny.

"I come in peace, Earthlings."

So very natural. So very fluid. So very Kerry.

Andrew Sullivan gets it. Too bad Kerry doesn't. And won't.

It seems that I am only going to the Second Level of Hell. I think that I was bumped from Limbo down to the fiery gates via my answer to this question :

Do you eat at restaurants several times a week?

Yes, yes, God forgive me, yes!

... but I think that we can safely put the issue to bed now that we know what Barbara Streisand thinks.

(Via the super-blogging Llama Butchers)

ZZzzzzalon's "Table Talk" topic of the day:

Is Bush the Worst President Ever?

Heh. Some cliché excerpted moonbat nutty-goodness:

The right-wing zealots who helped to impeach Clinton and steal the 2000 election from Al Gore got their wish. They got to be in charge for a while, and now we're all paying the price. Tax cuts for the rich and a never-ending holy war with terrorism: Exactly the kind of world the Bush family and their friends could want - they sit secure in their guarded mansions while their companies profit off of the violence and fear everyone else lives under.

Heh. She's described me! I sit in my 500 square-foot, uh, mansion, and sigh longingly while thinking thoughts about never-ending holy war ... I mean, even though I'm an atheist, but details, details. Go Bush! Go military-industrial complex! Go Holy War! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

PS - Kudos to "Captain Billy," (no relation) who seems to be holding it down in the discussion.

Whomping Willow and the Captain's Quarters Blog have been added. The virus spreads ...

Two tough ones are up at IMAO and Captain's Quarters Blog. Please contribute.

INDC journal has made The Commisar's map of Bloggahland. Spasebo Bolshoye, Comrade.

I would like to point out that while INDC Journal may be geographically based in the Northeast of the map, we are ALWAYS on the front lines in the struggle against the worst offenses of the creeping Moonbat Colony. And while you are here, please enjoy some pictures of my fine corner of the world.

James Risen makes the following declarative aside in his review of Richard Clarke's book in the New York Times:

The explosive details about President Bush's obsession with Iraq in the immediate aftermath of the Sept. 11 attacks captured the headlines in the days after the book's release, but ''Against All Enemies'' offers more.

I'm sure the author would have no clue why I write this, but a note to Mr. Risen: Editorialize all you want about the content, pace, organization and believability of Richard Clarke's book; that's what is expected in a book review, after all. But please don't make completely unironic, "factual" statements that bend the laws of time and space to fit your tidy little political views. It's unseemly.

Clarke's credibility takes another hit as a witness contradicts large portions of his book's account of the events at the White House on September 11th.

In Mr. Clarke's telling, he gathered the staff around and told them to leave for their own safety, particularly those with young children. They declined, and according to Mr. Clarke, Mr. Miller then "grabbed a legal pad and said, `All right. If you're staying, sign your name here,' " so that a list could be e-mailed out of the building. The purpose, he recalled Mr. Miller saying, was "so the rescue teams will know how many bodies to look for."
...
"That paragraph was a complete fiction," Mr. Miller said. His recollection is that after Mr. Hadley issued his instructions to keep the Situation Room operating, Mr. Clarke came over to Mr. Miller and said, "You realize what we signed on to 10 minutes ago?" Mr. Miller said that this "is a very different spin" on events.

UPDATE: Rich Lowry takes on Clarke's "tenor and tone" at NRO.

Clarke's tenor suggests that it was bizarre that it took Bush officials, many of whom weren't in place until the spring of 2001, eight months to bring to the verge of presidential approval a plan to eliminate al Qaeda. But policymaking takes time. The Clinton administration's Presidential Decision Directive 39 identified terrorism as a national-security concern, and was "signed in June 1995 after at least a year of interagency consultation and coordination." At least a year.

Read it. That is all.

Greg Easterbrook has a common-sense, non-partisan analysis of the Clarke fiasco and September 11 finger-pointing in general:

No Democrat, no Republican, no top-secret adviser, no pundit knew September 11 would occur. It is not necessary to analyze classified intelligence or intercepted cryptic Arabic messages to be sure of this--just to remember how lax airline security was up until that day. Warning after warning after warning about airline security had been issued, yet nothing was done; not by any Democrat, not by any Republican, not by the airlines themselves, which have lost vast amounts of money owing to that terrible morning. With the Richard Clarke flap and the 9/11 Commission, recriminations have been reduced to the two parties mutually complaining that their opponents failed to know the future. For the top levels of the U.S. government and media to be obsessing over pointless accusations regarding who failed to know the future makes the leaders of the nation, including its media leaders, appear deeply silly.

While I do fault previous administrations for weak half-measures in response to clear provocations, I'd say that's about right. Even Clinton did not have the political capital necessary to engage in a full-scale war against Al Quaeda prior to 9-11. Read the whole thing.

... phenomenon is out of control.

Speaking of "dreams," protestors invaded Karl Rove's yard and banged on his windows.

The crowd then grew more aggressive, fanning around the three accessible sides of Rove's house, tracking him through the many windows, waving signs that read "Say Yes to DREAM" and pounding on the glass. At one point, Rove rushed to a window, pointed a finger and yelled something inaudible.

My question is, why didn't he just ask his father to open up a fiery pit in the yard that would have swallowed them? I just don't get it.

A dream realized.

(Via Dean, Via It Tastes Like Burning, Via The Cheese Stands Alone, Via ... ah, f**ck it!)

This blogger has a fantastically comprehensive round-up of links from the blogosphere and a great analysis of the relative risks and benefits of anti-depressant use. Check it out. I mean, if you dig that sort of thing.

The World War II Memorial and the Washington Monument. There's more ...

Read More »

The need to assign blame for the elevated levels of lead in the District drinking water grows, as the Washington Post reveals that a group of high school students discovered lead contamination five years ago. I don't generally expect too much from government, but lead-free drinking water would be a definite bonus.

On a side note, the WashPo's coverage of this strikes me as what constitutes some of the best examples of everyday journalism - the dogged pursuit of a public interest/safety issue. Giddyup.

UPDATE: A head rolls.

A naturally skilled competitive eater turns back from the brink of greatness:

I was simultaneously triumphant and repulsed. The alpha male in me said I had walked into a contest cold and taught some experienced eaters a lesson. The rational part of my brain said I had just eaten 1.75 pounds of meat. In eight minutes.

Being a somewhat gifted human garbage disposal myself, I find it befuddling that this man could so easily walk away from a path of fame, fortune and Buffalo deliciousness.

Between the aforementioned looming Age of Robots and this, I'm not so sure.

UPDATE: Add flying freakin' snakes to the list. Crimeny!

Canada's troops to reclaim Arctic Five-year plan to 'put footprints in the snow' and assert northern sovereignty.

A "Ceremonial Deist" blessing to our brave Canadian allies in the War on Terror. Root out them Al Quaeda snow bunnies, boys!

(Via Jonah Goldberg in the Corner)

The sentiment celebrating the history of US-Japanese relations in this ad is nice, but I can't help but chuckle about the fact that somewhere in that period of time there was a sneak attack, a World War and a couple of nuclear detonations. Not to mention Voltron, Godzilla and Nintendo.

My how times change - and then remain the same.

And it's strange how such a polite society was also so fanatically militaristic. I once asked a Japanese friend, "What's the worst thing you could say to another person in Japanese? How do you tell someone to f**k off?"

He responded,"Oh, no, no ... we don't have word for that."

"But what do you say to someone that's really mean, when you want to straight-up kick their ass?" I persisted.

He paused, had to think about it, and replied, "Kaya-lay-o, Bacca-ya-lo."

"What does it mean?"

"Oh, well, like 'get out of here, you dumb man.'"

Priceless.

The Age of Man hath reached the beginning of the end.

Jap robot? I wonder if it looks like this.

"My GOD - you have the most beautiful eyes!"

Caption #2: "Let me show you this chokehold I learned in Vietnam ..."

Go watch this Brain Terminal video of "Mary the Protestor." Hilarious!

His resignation letter is posted at the Smoking Gun.

(Via the Llama Butchers)

And read his detailed praise for the Bush Administration's anti-terror efforts at this briefing in August of 2002. Clarke doesn't just offer vague accolades; he actually details that striking policy changes were made quite early in Bush's term:

Clarke: So, point five, that process which was initiated in the first week in February, uh, decided in principle, uh in the spring to add to the existing Clinton strategy and to increase CIA resources, for example, for covert action, five-fold, to go after Al Qaeda.
...
Over the course of the summer — last point — they developed implementation details, the principals met at the end of the summer, approved them in their first meeting, changed the strategy by authorizing the increase in funding five-fold, changing the policy on Pakistan, changing the policy on Uzbekistan, changing the policy on the Northern Alliance assistance.

And then changed the strategy from one of rollback with Al Qaeda over the course of five years, which it had been, to a new strategy that called for the rapid elimination of Al Qaeda. That is in fact the timeline. (Emphasis added)

Realistically, how much credibility does this man have left?

Or pre-emptively reactionary to reactionaries, but I think that Bush's jokes about WMD at the Radio and Television Correspondents' Association 60th annual dinner were inappropriate material and could prove to be a serious political misstep:

There was Bush looking under furniture in a fruitless, frustrating search. "Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere," he said.

This, on the other hand, was hilarious:

There was Vice President Dick Cheney (news - web sites), a frequent butt of gentle Bush ribbing, holding his fingers a few inches apart. Bush said, "Whenever you ask him a question, he replies, 'Let's see what my little friend says.'"

The New York Times has a gushing review:

Michael A. Newdow, who makes his living as an emergency room doctor, gave a spell-binding performance before the court.

And the Washington Post concurs:

Any doubts about whether California atheist Michael A. Newdow made a mistake by arguing his own case against the phrase "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance evaporated about midway through his performance at the Supreme Court yesterday.

Newdow is a slightly eccentric guy, typified by his sarcastic status as a "minister" in a church that doesn't actually worship a deity and his zealous advocacy of the concept of forced paternity, but he is also an extremely bright, focused man. Just from watching his pre-court debate at American University, I was pretty positive that he would present an effective case.

Now we'll have to see if the judges are swayed more by logic or politics. I hate to say it, but I think politics might win out on this one.

UPDATE: I debate this a bit in the comments section over at Blackfive.

With the Zionist pigs, or their foes that send "mentally slow" 14 year-olds to blow themselves up?

Abdu told soldiers of his dream of receiving 70 virgins in heaven, which his dispatchers had promised him, and said that he had been tempted by the promise of sexual relations with the virgins. He said that he had been bullied at school for his poor academic performance and that he had wanted "to be a hero."

Disgusting.

Just read.

(Via Dave Barry)

By golly (not God), I think this man has a case. I watched Newdow debate on C-Span the other day, and I was struck by the consistency and simplicity of his argument. As this WashPo analysis points out, maintaining "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance really has little obvious legal rationale, and certainly could be defined as a coercive endorsement of religion by the state. And while a ruling against the phrase could be interpreted as encouragement for the subsequent removal of all references to "God" on currency, monuments and other symbols of government, I happen to believe that the pledge is a much more viable, unique case, because it is a coercive act by the very nature of being an active, public, daily pledge. Having a quarter in your pocket with the declaration "In God We Trust" could likely meet the innocuous standard of "ceremonial deism;" a child being pressured to declare and equate patriotism with faith in a group setting does not.

My own personal experience ratifies this thought, since I was an atheist from an early age. Every day I stood up an repeated the pledge without a hitch, until about sometime in middle school, when I really absorbed the reference and basically started omitting that part during my recitation. This was a practical solution to a very minor problem, and perhaps an example the 90% of the public that supports "under God" might suggest to atheist children, but technically it's unconstitutional. Ask yourself:

How isolated would I feel in school if I would have decided to take a stand about my convictions and been forced to become a public spectacle by virtue of having to explain a daily denial to say the pledge?

Why didn't I have the opportunity to express my patriotism towards the secular institution of the state without having to violate my (non)religious beliefs?

Given the fact that deism is practiced by over 96% of America, how would expressing a public disbelief in God have affected my social standing?

And why should any child be coerced into even coming close to making this silent choice?

As Newdow expressed in the debate, the idea would hardly be tolerated if the Pledge said "under Allah" or "under Jesus." So essentially America is clinging to the notion that the phrase belongs in this public ritual because most of us "feel" that it belongs, not because it's continued inclusion has any serious legal rationale. In contrast, there exists significant precedent that indicates the expression does not belong.

Imagine for a second some other "majority" opinions in our history that have thankfully been overturned to protect and establish fundamental equality for minority positions. The fact that this case is a relatively pointless exercise for some people does not trump the rights and potentially strong opinions of a non-religious minority.

Advantage - Newdow.

UPDATE: More details from Newdow's argument:

Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist noted that Congress unanimously added the words "under God" in the pledge in 1954.

"That doesn't sound divisive," he said.

"That's only because no atheists can be elected to office," Newdow responded.

Some in the audience erupted in applause in the courtroom, and were threatened with expulsion by the chief justice.

Imagine how disturbing your trip to the zoo would be if you were suddenly attacked by a freaking gorilla. And impressed props to the maternal instinct:

DeLeon said he first saw Cheryl Reichert, 39, trying to close a door to the aviary, but the gorilla forced it open and jumped on her. Then DeLeon saw Jabari go after 3-year-old Rivers Heard and his mother, Keisha Heard, 31.

"He picked him up like a rag doll and then bit him in the head," DeLeon said. "His mother started hitting the gorilla on the back, but that just made him more mad. He threw young Rivers and then turned around and attacked her."

Growing up, that kid had better not give his mom any crap:

"Go to your room, you're grounded!"
"But moooooooommm!"
"Hey, I took on a 300 lb. gorilla for you!"
"Yeah, yeah, ok."

Bob Kerrey rocks the house, y'all.

Today's Monster search agent for marketing careers in Washington, DC turned up a decent haul. This might be meaningless for extrapolation to the national job market, as DC's government funding gives it a unique resistance to unemployment, but it's an encouraging sign.

US-DC-Washington/Metro ENTRY LEVEL MARKETING CAREERS Viva Marketing Group, Inc. APPLY

US-DC-Washington/Metro TYSON'S CORNER MARKETING FIRM SEEKS ENTRY LEVEL ASSOCIATES Madison Marketing Group APPLY

US-DC-Washington/Metro ENTRY LEVEL W/ GROWTH POTENTIAL Tri-Ad Promotions APPLY

US-DC-Washington/Metro 9 Entry-Level Marketing/ Advertising Positions Available Immediately... Venture Marketing Solutions APPLY

US-DC-Washington/Metro Senior Business Analyst AARP APPLY

US-DC-Washington/Metro MANAGEMENT TRAINEE OPENINGS AVAILABLE CRC Advertising APPLY

US-DC-Washington/Metro Regional Marketing Director Westfield APPLY

US-DC-Washington/Metro ENTRY LEVEL MARKETING CAREER AVAILABLE TODAY!!! Viva Marketing Group, Inc. APPLY

US-DC-Old Town Alexandria Online Marketing Manager APPLY

US-DC-Washington/Metro Manager, Program Infrastructure Marriott International APPLY

Instapundit has a typically thorough set of links that round-up information about Richard Clarke and his history as an anti-terror expert. Check it out.

Mel Gibson's Passion gets a crucial endorsement:

Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat has watched Mel Gibsons's controversial Passion of the Christ at a private screening and said it was not anti-Semitic.

(Via AllahPundit)

It seems that the Israeli military has killed Saruman the White.

I'd heard of punks against Bush, but punks for Bush?

"I look like someone who should be hanging out with Marilyn Manson — in fact I have hung out with Marilyn Manson," Mr. Graves said. "It doesn't affect what my morals are."

"I think George Bush is a wonderful, competent leader," he added. "And I believe that he is bringing this country on a right and just course and he understands the true nature of evil."

Interestingly, this guy is one of the former members of the Misfits, whose most famous song has this line:

I got something to saaaaayy, I killed your baby todaaaaay!
And it .. doesn't matter much to me, as long as it's deeeaddd!

This is all very confusing - this guy is for infanticide, but against abortion? Heh.

Rumsfeld Hosts No-Holds-Barred Martial Arts Tournament At Remote Island Fortress

I wonder if the Onion writers stole the concept from this.

Once you form a worldview and make basic political distinctions between "good" and what is "evil", "right" and "wrong", the mind tends to instinctively downplay or filter out information that contradicts your initial decision. For reference, here is a black-and-white summary of my current views regarding poli-sci:

Brilliant. Loopy.

Good. Bad.

Admirable. Deplorable.

As a result, that's why it's puzzling and difficult to read and absorb something like this:

President Bush’s former top terrorism advisor says the president isn’t doing the best job fighting terrorism. The former advisor, Richard Clarke, discusses this and other observations he made while he was a White House insider in an interview with Lesley Stahl to be broadcast on 60 MINUTES Sunday March 21 (7:00-8:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

It's unusual that such a senior figure would make such dramatic criticism. But let's read on:

“Frankly, I find it outrageous that the president is running for re-election on the grounds that he’s done such great things about terrorism,” says Clarke in tomorrow night’s interview. “He ignored it. He ignored terrorism for months, when maybe we could have done something to stop 9/11. Maybe. We’ll never know,” he tells Stahl.

At this point, I become skeptical. Anyone who makes a shadow of a claim that President Bush had some likely ability to prevent September 11th raises my suspicions. Let's face it; terrorism wasn't high enough on anyone's agenda prior to September 11th. To suggest that Bush had some unique potential to cut through the mounds of raw intelligence and prevent this surprising attack just doesn't ring true. Could more have been done? Probably. Was there beaurocratic inaction? I'm sure of it. But without the watershed event of those buildings coming down, no administration (not even Clinton's) deserves blame for failing to anticipate and prevent such a stunning event. Moving on ...

Clarke tells Stahl that on September 11, 2001 and the day after - when it was clear Al Qaeda had carried out the terrorist attacks - the Bush administration was considering bombing Iraq in retaliation.

This is well-documented in Woodward's book, Bush at War. Almost immediately after September 11th, Paul Wolfowitz brought his long-term strategy of Middle-East engagement to the table. Realizing that the war on terror needed to be viewed as a strategic effort (of which military force and the installation of a Democracy were key components) in place of a tactical rataliatory event, Iraq was immediately identified as a terrorist state that was very high on the list of priorities. As Bush famously said, "You are either with us or you are with the terrorists." Iraq was most definitely with the terrorists.

"Rumsfeld was saying we needed to bomb Iraq....We all said, 'but no, no. Al Qaeda is in Afghanistan," recounts Clarke, "and Rumsfeld said, 'There aren't any good targets in Afghanistan and there are lots of good targets in Iraq.' I said, 'Well, there are lots of good targets in lots of places, but Iraq had nothing to do with [the 9/11 attacks],'" he tells Stahl.

Once again, repeating the mantra that Iraq had nothing to do with Al Quaeda is a simplistic interpretation of the motivation for war and a two-dimensional approach to a three-dimensional problem - the potential nexus of 21st Century rogue states with the capacity to develop and deploy WMD and fanatic Islamism. The people who use the train of logic that discounted a threat from Iraq view the war on terror in a fundamentally more narrow way than many of those who supported invasion. Of course the Afghani-based terrorists needed to be taken out, along with their hosts, but the realization of our terrible vulnerability renders intolerable the existence of any outlaw regime that has a history of terrorism, WMD development and continuing, overt hostility towards the United States.

Did Rumsfeld make the comment that Iraq needed to be taken out merely by virtue of more appealing targeting? I wouldn't be completely surprised. But he didn't get his way. Also notice how Clarke says "we all said," which indicates that he was not a lone voice in the wilderness. The President took opinions from his cabinet and advisors, analayzed the situation, made the correct decision to move in Afghanistan, and then prioritized dealing with Iraq only after Al Quaeda had been engaged.

Richard Clarke may be trying to make some scratch by generating publicity for his book, he's likely pissed off at those that he disagrees with in the Bush Administration and I'm sure he is probably voicing his convictions. But - his analysis of how this administration is combatting terrorism seems laden with rhetorical and misleading criticism. Based on the quotes in this article, it's a superficial analysis. And it makes me glad he isn't advising the president any longer ...

A great article in the WashPo reviews the current conventional wisdom on a variety of common health issues. An extensive read (as links go), but well worth a minute.

Blackfive basically sums up how I have been feeling about a lot of events and/or statements related to the war on terror lately:

He is so wrong on so many different levels that this is...Disgusting.

The reference is to Dominique de Villepin, who has decided to grace us with his wisdom regarding the struggle for Western Civ:

"Terrorism didn't exist in Iraq before," de Villepin said. "Today, it is one of the world's principal sources of world terrorism."

ARRRGHHH!

Most of us don't think much about how conventional foods can affect our daily health. I don't mean the long-term consequences that we typically hear about, like obesity, diabetes or heart disease, but rather how what we eat that day might negatively impact that day's quality of life by causing a rapid deleterious effect on blood chemistry. Of course there are obvious examples, like gorging on mexican food and being chained to the can for several hours, but did you make the connection that a meal containing processed lunch meat and cheese may be giving you that migraine?

On a personal note, I've been feeling a bit under the weather this week, with a dull headache and foggy thoughts. Coincidentally(?), I've been eating a great deal of blue cheese. Hmmmm. It's either that or the lead in the water.

Oftentimes, evil, insane people achieve great success.

Rasputin.

Chuck Manson.

Vlad the Impaler.

Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth.

NEW YORK - Fired “Apprentice” Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth — hated by some of her fellow cast members — got plenty of love Thursday at Ebony magazine’s awards luncheon.

Manigault-Stallworth, a guest, received hugs, kisses and requests for photos at the fifth annual event, which honors outstanding women in marketing and communications.
...

Manigault-Stallworth is negotiating a book deal and a talk show, and is interested in doing political commentary for the upcoming presidential election.

Evil even has its own web site these days.

Okay, okay, maybe I'm being a bit hyperbolic - she didn't kill anyone (yet), or bring down the House of Romanov, or drop thousands of people on sticks, but this woman is horrible, just horrible. And clearly pathological. Just the sound and cadence of her voice makes my skin crawl, dripping as it is with the characteristic twitches and sing-song lilts of a fragile, huge, universe-sucking ego. What a world of star-f*ckers we are ...

UPDATE: Meeting of the, uh minds. Dumb, meet evil. Evil, meet dumb: Chris Matthews and Omarosa. What the hell kind of line is this:

MATTHEWS: OK, well, that‘s a tribute I do accept. Anyway, thank you very much, Omarosa. I‘m sure I‘ll be seeing you in the headlines as bold print for as long as you live.

I realize the fact that organized labor plays a role in keeping wages reasonable and protections in place for many deserving workers, epecially those that work in difficult industries, but I can't help but abhor the strong-arm tactics and coercion that these organizations use to get their way. I mean, look at this example: the Real World was lured to Philadelphia, which is a huge image/tourism coup, considering the repeated glamour shots of the host city that are exhibited to 4 million viewers every week. But - because the show didn't want to use a Union contractor to renovate the Real World house, organized labor decided to make unbearable for the producers and the show pulled out. In this situation, no one wins, especially the Unions, who not only don't get the work, but look like mafia bullies in the process. And for curiosity's sake, I'd like to know - why is it that organizations sometimes consciously try to avoid using union workers? Obviously there is a cost issue, but is there anything else? Besides distaste for their tactics? Forgive my naiveté.

My own personal experience with Unions centers around a former job as a marketing manager for a string of hotels in DC. The hotel worker's union had beef with some benefit issues, and they proceeded to enact 24-hour demonstrations outside the hotels, yelling rude slurs and making the stay a nightmare for guests. I actually tried to speak to some of the picketers on my way in a few times, and was met with unbridled hostility. How was this a reasonable tactic? It engendered the opposite reaction from management, who had been ready to compromise on some points. It's extortion.

The red line was completely shut down today, this is kind of an odd thing/semi-big deal. I had to walk to work. I heard something about smoke ... Mechanical? Rider on the tracks? Bomb scare? Not sure, I'll keep you posted.

UPDATE: "A fire in the control box." Not sure what that means, but ...

UPDATE:
Metrorail Returns to Full Service
Operations Expected to Be Normal for Afternoon Rush

The problems began with a 7 a.m. fire at an electric cable box on the tunnel wall between the Woodley Park and Dupont Circle stations. Smoke filled the tunnel.

Dean has some ruminations on the Instapundit, basically noting what an ephemeral tease the whole "Instalanche" experience is. He also links to the Commisar's take on how to get sustainable exposure, and it involves lots of commenting and commie ass-kissing and the like.

My personal experience with getting "Instalaunched" (or getting hit with an "Instalanche," if you prefer) via a link from Professor Reynolds:

My minor 'lanche got me so very high. It felt so good, man, like I was flying, like I'd buried my face en la coca a la Tony Montagna. I felt like I was ruler of the WORLD, like I suddenly had the power to kill a man, just by making that Darth Vader strangling motion with my hand.

But then ... then my minute came and went, and the fame fluttered out of my frenzied, pathetic grasp. It was gone. All gone. The traffic left as quickly as it had come. The comments dried up. I started to get the shakes. I craved attention and simply couldn't stand the idea of a life without another Instalink. I began e-mailing Glenn repeatedly, and he was RUDE and would not answer, even though I felt that we'd established a true friendship, a real spiritual bond by virtue of being "link-buddies." Finally, I sent this:

"To: pundit@instapundit.com
From: Instapunditfan@indcjournal.com
Re: My undying devotion to your special inner light

Glenny,

Please please PLEASE link me! Did you see my entry about Purple Elephant Sh*t and the State of the Union? Wasn't that a scream? Or my fun take on the Salon.com celebrity cruise? Did you? Well, DID YOU? Much better than your boring s*** blogging!

I'm sorry... that was passive-aggressive. I'm lashing out because you have hurt me with your silence. It's just that I thought that we had something meaningful. I even started blending puppies, just to be more like you. Last week I juiced a 6 week-old Doberman. I named him Andrew Sullivan before I frapped 'em, cuz you soooo kick Sullivan's ass. He couldn't carry your laptop bag. I would even kill Frank J if you told me to. (BTW - would you? Like me to?)

Now please link me! Please! Linkee-linkee-link-link-linkeee-link-link-linkeee-leeeeee!

With eternal love,

Bill

PS - I'll be in Knoxville in a week, why don't we take the Instafamily out for a BBQ in the RX-8, Professor!"

So anyway, the bastard e-mails me back with some legal-sounding letter saying to "cease-and-desist all communication, written, oral, electronic or otherwise." And still no link.

The Instalanche ruined my life!

They seem to have their own web site! I have a couple of observations:

* Good concept, weak copy on the site - it doesn't seem authentic. For example, it's spelled "sig heil." Every German kid learns that by like age five, dude.

*Who is going to break it to Saddam that he is not a foreign "leader" any longer?

*Say what you will about him, that Kim Jong Il is one strikingly beautiful specimen of manhood.

(Via Bill McCabe)

... or even necesarily very smart, but I do believe that I predicted something like this:

Attack threats over headscarf ban

Here.

(Link via Tim Blair)

I guess that there is some uh, sort of logic in this-

"The man insisted he had no other choice but the donkey because he could not afford to pay a dowry to get married," a local police officer told Reuters.

... but why couldn't he have just masturbated while thinking of donkeys?

Among our "friends," the Saudis.

Sources close to the detainees said eight people had been taken in by police, including former university professors Abdullah Hamid and Tawfiq Qussayer. Hamid was one of more than 800 people who signed a letter to Saudi Arabia's de facto ruler, Crown Prince Abdullah, urging that a timetable for political reforms be implemented in the Persian Gulf state, which is under pressure to open up its absolute monarchy.

Bush had better get involved in this.

MY BRAIN CELLS DIED!

Read Jefferson Morley's World Opinion Roundup for some European media reaction to the Spanish bombings.

Le Figaro:

"The bombs of Madrid have shown us how much we are without defense and how much our knowledge of the terrorists is insufficient," says Le Figaro. "Each country can be hit, whether or not it has participated, like Spain, in the Iraq war, whether or not it has decided, like France, to forbid Islamic headscarves in the schools."

Yep.

... that this was a MAJOR victory for the terrorists?

CNN also has obtained an al Qaeda document that spells out the terrorist group's plan to separate Spain from the U.S.-led coalition on Iraq.

The document was published on the main message board that is used by al Qaeda and its sympathizers last December.

The strategy spelled out in the document calls for using terrorist attacks to oust Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar's Partido Popular from power and replace it with the Socialists.

That, in turn, was expected to drive a wedge between Washington and Madrid and result in the withdrawal of Spanish military forces from Iraq.

Does the Spanish Prime Minister-elect realize what playbook he is taking cues from? Some consolation - 38% of the Spanish electorate understood this fact and voted for the Popular Party candidate.

Cash-strapped Salon.com takes a page from the National Review and starts its own "hang out with Salon staffers" vacation cruise, this Sept. 4-11 ...

Imagine ...

Sitting at the Captain's table with David Talbot as he regales you with horror stories about the "Bush Machine" and its right-wing "hitmen."

Watching a wild-eyed Michelle Goldberg prowl the ship, intently searching the shuffleboard courts for right-wing spies sent to sabotage the cruise and "crush (righteous) dissent."

Witnessing Joe Conason's mental illness up-close-and-personal.

And of course -

Celebrating the third anniversary of September 11th with your fellow Salon.com readers:

* I watched from my window, not on television, as the twin towers fell. As shocked as I was, I felt that this was not my problem as a black person. The people who worked at the World Trade Center were mostly white men, and so they had nothing to do with me as a black woman.

* 2001 was a great year for me; I hated the twin towers and I hated the Taliban and now they're both gone!

* In the days and weeks that followed the attacks I found myself worrying about the rescue dogs that were working the site. There were reports in the media almost daily about injuries to the dogs (and in some cases deaths) and I found myself wondering if it was really that important to recover things like concrete splashed with the victim's DNA.

Sounds fun!

Armed rebellion in Northern Iran.

(Via Roger Simon)

This:
Al Qaeda Implicated In Madrid Bombings

Then this:

Spanish Socialists Oust Party of U.S. War Ally

Then this:

Spain Likely to Pull Troops From Iraq

What a terrible sequence of events. The majority in Spain has conferred true political power on terrorists. What will it take for Europe to learn? Especially since Spain has likely always been on the short list of Islamist targets. Depressing.

Larger image

The ceremony was quiet and brief. At about noon, a procession of diplomats and private mourners made their way from the Spanish Embassy to Washington Circle. Once there, Spanish officials stood silently behind the white placards for about five minutes. They then dispersed and the media converged on the white-haired gentleman, who a reporter told me was the Spanish Ambassador. His voice broke and his eyes misted as he spoke briefly in Spanish and then English, and the key quote was:

"The Spanish people, along with the American people, all the freedom-loving peoples of the world - we will persevere together." (It was difficult to hear him, but I'm 99% sure this is accurate).

The ceremony then slowly dispersed, with the crowd mingling around the circle and the embassy, where flowers and tokens were continuously being dropped off. DC Police had one side of Penn Avenue blocked off and the crowd was riddled with various security personnel. I'm horrible at estimating crowds, but I'd say a couple of hundred people were there.

UPDATE:

Another ceremony: Bush Expresses Condolences to Spanish Ambassador

Mourners gather in front of the embassy.

The crowd moves towards Washington Circle.

The Spanish Ambassador chokes up as he speaks to reporters: "The Spanish people, along with the American people, all the freedom-loving peoples of the world, we will persevere together."

"The smart thing for us to do is stick together." (I think, roughly)

UPDATE: WRONG! - "Madrid, The beauty that you are, we are with you!"

Dean Esmay highlights the "line of the day" by Stephen Green ...

"But part of me is so angry after yesterday's bombing, that all I could think was, "Isn't it time we made that American sentiment 'Live free or die' into a goddamn ultimatum?"

... which reminds me of one of my favorite lines by George Carlin:

"Live and let live, that's what I say ... live and let live ... and anyone who disagrees with that? Take 'em outside and shoot the mother f%^&*ers!"

WARNING: ANGRY RANT.

Perhaps the most striking divide in this country is between those who actually believe that we are at war and those who don't. For those who don't, this sounds like another golden opportunity to wake up: the senseless murder of 198 commuters, slaughtered during rush hour on a train. Defenseless. Innocent. Dead.

An event like this doesn't just stoke my hatred of the terrorists, those violentally intolerant cockroaches that seek to buy divinity or secular political godhood by dismantling civilization and murdering innocent people ... I view the terrorists as clever, deadly animals, simply and unerringly guided by psychotic hatred. Their role is clear, and they merely need to be exterminated. I would have little doubt that we could accomplish this, if it were not for the efforts of a more subtle enemy that facilitates their existence ...

What has really started to creep into my thoughts and inspire my anger is our generation's version of what Stalin called the "useful idiots." The apologist leftists. The auto-pacifists. Those that let their personal aversion to violence solely animate their political views. Those that exclusively shriek about cultural relativism and "root causes." Those that play politics to the detriment of the war on terror. Those that let their personal predilections about domestic issues chronically interfere with the concept that we are in terrible danger.

I'm sick of it.

*I'm sick of Salon.com's paranoid delusional hand-wringing and self-loathing of America.

*I'm beyond sick of Joe Conason. I have NEVER read anyone who is more of a craven, knee-jerk ideologue.

*I'm sick of Paul Begala, that f**kwit that will play any angle to further his sworn demonic allegience to a political party.

* Ditto Sidney Blumenthal and the little monster that is Carville.

*I'm sick of Bill Maher's snarky, intellectually shallow one-liners that imply Bush's dishonesty about motivations for the War in Iraq.

* I'm sick of Chris Matthew's intellectually shallow mouth-breathing spittle-fests that also imply Bush's dishonesty about motivations for the War in Iraq.

* I'm sick of Reuters.

* I'm sick of Ted Rall and John Pilger, both of whom might actually join Al Quaeda, if given the chance.

The list goes on, and on and on ...

But mostly, I'm sick of the legion of Maureen Dowds. They surround me in this city. They are more concerned with "cosmeceutials," and materialism, and faux-empathy with society's downtrodden, and hatred of Bush than they are with the fundamental, pressing concept that technology has evolved at a faster rate than humanity has matured. And to strategically attack this problem we have to take a shot at an aggressive gameplan that remakes whole societies, not one that hunkers down and seeks to pray for peace while attending cocktail parties.

To these people the idea of a series of bombs exploding in Spain is an event made abstract by distance, and the attacks in NY and DC have been made abstract by time. WAKE UP! It is here! And just as easily as it could be a train in Spain, or crumbling Twin Towers, or a nightclub in Bali, or a pizza parlor in Israel, it can also be on the subway YOU are riding on - tomorrow!

And it's not caused by Bush. And it's not caused by some coup the CIA may have engineered in the 70's. And it's not Donald Rumsfeld's wet dream. And it's not about oiiiiiiil. And it's not because of the Patriot Act, or the fact that Brazilians need to be fingerprinted before they enter the country.

Terrorism is hatred, it is human nature, and it and terrible weapons are here to stay. We must not lose focus. And we must realize that those who facilitate loss of focus are also a type of enemy. They undermine the will of free and properous societies in the face of a threat. They offer contrarian criticism without credible alternative. They give rise to the concept that Democracy and capitalism are weak.

How to confront this enemy? Ideas.

(NOTE: Yes, I realize that I am only vilifying left-wing ideologues and worshipping right wingers; but the rabid left-wing is on the wrong side of an issue that is so vital, so important, that they must be singled out and defeated. Also, the right-wingers that I venerate are some of the most reasoned thinkers on either side of the left-right debate)

John Kerry in 1997:

"Now that [the Cold War] struggle is over, why is it that our vast intelligence apparatus continues to grow?"

Fool. Read the whole thing.

Study Finds That Teenage Virginity Pledges Are Rarely Kept

UPDATE: Dean Esmay's opinion suggests that I should have read the results a bit more closely ...

Thomas Friedman nails it in today's column:

There is a reason the "next big thing" almost always comes out of America, said Mrs. Narayanan. When she and her husband came back to live in Bangalore and enrolled their son in a good private school, he found himself totally stifled because of the emphasis on rote learning — rather than the independent thinking he was exposed to in his U.S. school. They had to take him out and look for another, more avant-garde private school. "America allows you to explore your mind," she said. The whole concept of outsourcing was actually invented in America, added her husband, Sean, because no one else figured it out.

The Narayanans are worth listening to at this time of rising insecurity over white-collar job losses to India. America is the greatest engine of innovation that has ever existed, and it can't be duplicated anytime soon, because it is the product of a multitude of factors: extreme freedom of thought, an emphasis on independent thinking, a steady immigration of new minds, a risk-taking culture with no stigma attached to trying and failing, a noncorrupt bureaucracy, and financial markets and a venture capital system that are unrivaled at taking new ideas and turning them into global products.

This is essentially what nearly every economist that appears on Lou Dobbs tries to explain to the old protectionist goat.

Dick Cheney has a sense of humor! It also seems that he reads the paper when he is hunkered deep in his subterranean lair.

Thank you, President [Al] Hunt, members of the Gridiron . . . at one point during your skits, I had a little scare. I felt a tightness in my chest. I started gasping for air and breathing irregularly. Then I realized it's called laughing. . . .

Dave Broder: "How would you accurately describe
your role in this administration? Be honest."

I would say that I am a dark, insidious force pushing Bush toward war and confrontation. . . .

Susan Page of USA Today asks, "What do you think of Senator John Edwards?"

I think he's cute as a button. . . .

I can't believe he actually said this stuff. Hilarious.

Rick Brookhiser has a funny anecdote in the Corner:

At the 1988 GOP convention, George H.W. Bush threatened drug king pins with the death penalty. P.J. O'Rourke leaned over to me and said, "Even if the drugs are good and the prices are fair?"

I'm Caligula. Score!

(Via Dean's World)

This one is actually offensive if you really think about it:

Who's Sauron -- bin Laden or Bush?

At least they've expanded their horizons past Hitler analogies. The piece is accompanied by a picture of Viggo Mortensen wearing a "War is Not the Answer" t-shirt. If war wasn't the answer, it amazes me that I have still not heard a credible argument for what was the answer, especially since the status quo of UN sanctioned "containment" was even more of a failure than previously assumed:

Millions of Iraqis were struggling to survive on rations of food and medicine. Yet the government's hidden slush funds were being fed by suppliers and oil traders from around the world who sometimes lugged suitcases full of cash to ministry offices, said Iraqi officials who supervised the skimming operation.

So what was the answer Viggo?