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June 28, 2006
AMBER ALERT!

Posted by Bill

Name: "dorkafork"

Case Type: Unknown - possible Non Family Abduction or existential quest to "find himself"
Chronological Age: 28
Emotional Age: 11
Sex: Male (give or take)
Missing Date/Last Seen: June 15, 2006
Race: Beaver Cleaver
Height: 6'
Hair Color: Dark brown
Eye Color: Brown

Case Number: INDC56TYRY89
Notes: Last seen wearing a "Hey Scully, The Truth is Right Here ... In My Pants!" X-Files t-shirt and baby blue lycra biking shorts. May or may not be in the company of circus folk or middle-aged men wearing latex ear-tips (elven or Vulcan). May have gone to Mexico. Subject has one tattoo of Orlando Bloom on his upper left buttock and a vestigial tail that twitches when excited, anxious or has to pee.

Approach with caution and/or pizza pockets. Deliver message from co-blogger:

Hey, did you happen to see the best co-blogger in the world? And if you did, was he crying, crying? Hey, if you happen to see the most wonderful co-blogger that walked out on me ... tell him, "I'm sorry." Tell him, "I need my baby." Oh, won't you tell him ... that I ... am really busy and could use some help keeping the developmentally disabled weirdos that continue to read this site entertained, lest their sublimated attention drift and unleash a burst of nightmarish consequence on the real world. The awesome responsibility is killing me.

Posted by Bill at June 28, 2006 01:34 PM | TrackBack (1)

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Comments

Maybe we could lure him out with this gummy bear I've got in my pocket.

Posted by: phin at June 28, 2006 03:03 PM

Hey, are you calling me a developmentally disabled weirdo? I am going have to re-read that for context.

Posted by: Flea at June 28, 2006 03:07 PM

I like to know that there is a blog that caters to my needs.

Posted by: developmentally disabled weirdo at June 28, 2006 07:06 PM

HOT TIP! Dude was seen June 26 pissing Ace off in the comments here. Now, he could be anywhere.

Posted by: Feisty at June 28, 2006 10:03 PM

Announce a Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash, and he'll show up.

Posted by: Robin Roberts at June 28, 2006 10:38 PM

developmentally disabled weirdos

Short-bus kids will suffice.

Posted by: Nancy at June 29, 2006 09:07 AM

Thanks for nothing Bill. Now I can't get that friggin' song out of my head.

Posted by: Kevin at June 29, 2006 02:32 PM

Naybe his thyroid fell out. Gosh, I hope he's ok.

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hay mabey we can just sneck up behind hime and poll down his pants becuase he has a tatto of something on his left butt

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