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February 22, 2006
Under the Weather

Posted by Bill

mayo.jpg

... so light posting. But no bug can keep me from plunging headfirst into the gooey fray of the ongoing Mayonnaise vs. Miracle Whip War.

Florida Cracker strikes again by snarking that Mayo is of French origin, whereas Miracle Whip is an all-American concoction. Also an all-American concoction?

Plutonium-239.*

That doesn't mean I'll be spreading it on a grilled cheese sandwich any time soon.

To be fair, Miracle Whip can come in handy.

But you can't fight statistics.


* For requisite Cracker reference, Plutonium-239 is the hot stuff in that little metal cannister you've been employing as a windchime/"skeeter zapper" on the porch of your 6 Mile Cypress swamp shack for the past couple of decades.

Related: Three-headed, hermaphroditic possums - NOT indigenous to Southern Florida.

Posted by Bill at February 22, 2006 08:49 PM | TrackBack (10)

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Comments

My old lady also like to halve a tomato, fill it with tuna, & top it with a gooey dollop of Miracle Whip. Mmmmmmmmmm

Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 22, 2006 10:04 PM

I'm in the camp that loathes mayonnaise in *all* its various forms and mutations!

Posted by: David C at February 23, 2006 10:46 AM

Mayonnaise every time.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 23, 2006 11:30 AM

My dad eats peanut butter and mayonnaise on a big lettuce leaf.

Posted by: JohnAnnArbor at February 23, 2006 11:44 AM

Miracle whip is demon ejaculate. Mayo is the only way to go.

Posted by: Captain Ned at February 23, 2006 01:46 PM

"Miracle whip is demon ejaculate. Mayo is the only way to go."

Exactly.

Mayo, on its lonesome, is damned gross. However, that grossness leaves when in combination with other food elements (tuna, mustard, etc.).

Miracle whip, on the other hand, retains the disgustingness no matter what it is combined with.

Posted by: TheRoyalFamily at February 23, 2006 03:14 PM

Fresh homemade mayo > store mayo >> Miracle Whip

Posted by: DJ at February 23, 2006 03:44 PM

Make mine mayo.

Posted by: Sean M. at February 24, 2006 01:03 AM

So Miracle Whip is postulated to be demon ejaculate. Of what then are Peeps made?

Posted by: Mike in Austin at February 24, 2006 06:30 AM

"My dad eats peanut butter and mayonnaise..."

Oh my gawd, my comfort food of choice since childhood! But on some lovely oat bread, with a sprinkle of Kosher salt ~ no greenery.

Peeps are a gift of the Gods, doncha know.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at February 24, 2006 10:51 AM

As proven by the picture, mayo is just as radioactive as Pu-239, yet people still spread mayo on their sammiches.

So, what's the problem with Pu-239 then?

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