|
« The Birdshot Conspiracy | Main | Leaving This One at the Top » February 17, 2006
Friday Pause (Reader Participation!)
Posted by Bill Dorkafork and I have been tapdancing our little hearts out for you people all week, and frankly, we're tired. But you can serve up a little reciprocal entertainment by answering the following question: Which United States Senator would you least like to sit next to on a cross-country flight? I'll go first: Something about Charles Schumer (D, NY) bothers me at an instinctive level; aside from suffering the occasional chill of his probing reptilian gaze, I imagine that he'd smell a bit like wet Cheerios. And though it may come as a surprise, I'd be delighted to share a row with Senator Kennedy. Delighted. Why? Aside from the remote but possible threat of him honking up a swirly blend of scotch and clam chowder in my lap, think of the upsides: big hits off of his monster flask ("no baby bottles for TK!"), the opportunity to play Iceman to his Maverick when he makes an unsteady bombing run on any attractive flight attendants, and, if he passes out, free creative reign with a sharpie marker, followed by the giggling satisfaction of watching Kennedy deliver a bleary-eyed post-flight press conference with "I *HEART* balls" and a handlebar mustache drawn across the blotchy red canvas of his meaty mug. Now you go. UPDATE: Another inane hypothetical: "Dick vs. Jack?" Posted by Bill at February 17, 2006 09:48 AM | TrackBack (0) Trackback PingsTrackBack URL for this entry: CommentsDefinitely Carl Levin. Probably because he's from my state, and I've been tortured by him for years. Self-important blow-hard. My (hate) for him has festered for years. Posted by: Carin at February 17, 2006 12:40 PM Biden. Definitely Biden. Self-important, posturing, wind-bag, jackass. And that's a good day. Posted by: A fine scotch at February 17, 2006 12:44 PM Yeah, I get the feeling he'll get a lot of votes. Posted by: Bill from INDC at February 17, 2006 12:45 PM With respect to Kennedy, you forget the possible flatulence angle. Posted by: JohnAnnArbor at February 17, 2006 12:46 PM you forget the possible flatulence angle. Well, I figured that we'd be too engaged in huffing landing gear hydraulic fluid (after the Glenlivet ran out) to even notice ... Posted by: Bill from INDC at February 17, 2006 12:48 PM I am going go widen the scope and say the representative or senator I would least like to sit next to on a plane is Nancy Pelosi. First of all I don't want to be around when she reverts to her natural alien form and starts eating people. Plus I don't think I could handle looking at that face in person for any extended amount of time (especially given my penchant for taking LSD and Ketamine to calm my nerves on long flights). If I had to say a Senator it would be my own, Dick Durban. He seems to me like the kind of guy who would keep casually trying to get you to let him blow you the whole flight, you know just mixing it in with normal conversation. "Boy is that Bush an asshole huh? I can't believe about the domestic wiretaps. Unconscionable, hey how bout I blow you? No? you sure? Ok, your call but Teddy, Biden and McCain don't call me hot lips Dick for nothing" and on and on. Not because he's gay mind you, but just as a form of constituent service. Posted by: Big E at February 17, 2006 01:19 PM Big E - First of all I don't want to be around when she reverts to her natural alien form and starts eating people. Man, that's funny. especially given my penchant for taking LSD and Ketamine to calm my nerves on long flights Imagine the "fwap fwap fwap(ping)" sound everytime she blinks, as heard from the terrifying depths of a k-hole. And if you author another comment that's funnier than the post, you're banned. Posted by: Bill from INDC at February 17, 2006 01:23 PM My Senator Ron Wyden. Maybe I'm a bad person, but speech impediments drive me up the wall. I mean come on, the man sounds like Donald Duck! Posted by: Jason at February 17, 2006 01:27 PM Harry Reid. Posted by: JohnAnnArbor at February 17, 2006 01:34 PM We're forgetting John Kerry. "So, those swiftie guys really got to you, huh? Hey, does this flight serve Camembert?" Posted by: JohnAnnArbor at February 17, 2006 01:45 PM Hillary "Bride of Satan" Clinton. I can see it now, those cold black orbs of hers peeking out from beneath her sagging and botox frozen brow, as she sneaks a look at my "Got Capitalism" t-shirt, before she cackles out "Let me tell you about my plan to rescue health care in America". The only way it could be worse was if she had stuffed Feinstein into a short mini-black latex corset, dog collar, and then tied her into the other seat next me. Posted by: Scott C at February 17, 2006 02:11 PM I would say Hillary, but my face is still in the list of people escorted from one of her town hall meetings. I will have to go with Robert Byrd from WV. His speeches remind me of a dementia induced rant, minus the common sense you would hear during that rant. Posted by: Jon the Mechanic at February 17, 2006 02:30 PM Dave Barry has compared Byrd to a large albino ferret. Posted by: JohnAnnArbor at February 17, 2006 02:38 PM Ha. ("large albino ferret") Any Republican senators? Can I get a Chuck Hagel, perhaps? Posted by: Bill from INDC at February 17, 2006 02:41 PM McCain. Point out that campaign-finance reform has made the system more corrupt and less accountable, and violates first amendment. Then watch his head explode. Posted by: JohnAnnArbor at February 17, 2006 02:52 PM Gotta be Kerry "Now let me explain to you why the course chosen by this pilot is flawed. By the way, did I tell you that I flew 747s on secret missions into Cambodia when I served in 'Nam. That's what we called it over there. 'Nam. Not Viet Nam, just 'Nam. That attitude shows just why we are hated around the world, because of our cultural insensitivity." After an hour, I'd try to hijack the plane just so we could get shot down by an F-15. Posted by: rbj at February 17, 2006 02:59 PM God, that's a tough one. The creepy thing about Hillary is that she's had so much work she can't close her eyes, so you wouldn't know if she was snoozing, staring malevolently at you, or just gazing into space while contemplating evil. But half of Kennedy would be in your lap, & the stale 120 proof miasma of bodily effluents would never wash off. Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 17, 2006 04:35 PM It might be easier to try to pick a senator I'd want to sit next to. The list of candidates in much much shorter. Posted by: Stephen Macklin at February 17, 2006 04:38 PM Id go with Barbie "Who needs ken when you have fidel" Boxer. Posted by: Val Prieto at February 17, 2006 04:45 PM Mitch McConnell Who would I like to sit next to? I'd say my two favorites would be Hilary Clinton and Lindsay Graham. I think you could actually have a decent conversation with either one of them. Posted by: Steven Donegal at February 17, 2006 04:50 PM Trapped next to Mary Landrieu, who bats her eyes woozily after a couple or four drinks, and says "Did you know I'm a member of the Mile High Club?" Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 17, 2006 05:22 PM Landrieu: "And I came in the BACK door of THAT club, honey!" AAUUGH! Stop! Stop! Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 17, 2006 05:23 PM If Katherine Harris gets elected in Florida, I wouldn't mind sitting next to her. I just know she'd be a hoot & a holler. Anyone who can tell Karl Rove to fuck off when he suggests she step aside for the good of the party is someone I respect. Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 17, 2006 05:30 PM Not to get all Kansas-provincial on you, but how about least-favorite = Sam Brownback? Now there's a barrel of laughs. Posted by: j.d. at February 17, 2006 05:41 PM What's "kansas?" Posted by: Bill from INDC at February 17, 2006 05:47 PM Anyone who can tell Karl Rove to fuck off is protected on high by the forces of darkness. So you'd be safe on any flight she's on. Posted by: dorkafork at February 17, 2006 05:57 PM You got THAT right! Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 17, 2006 06:16 PM Obviously, Byrd could tell some great yarns if you got him liquored up. "You know, tar & feathers sounds funny, but it ain't." Patty Murray would be enough to send you looking for some box cutters Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 17, 2006 06:23 PM I'd take the opportunity to ask Sen. Murray what Osama's day care centers are like. Do they play "duck, duck, infidel" or what? Posted by: JohnAnnArbor at February 17, 2006 07:36 PM I'd say Kerry. I can't think of a senator with less personality. At least Teddy might be fun to drink with. Also, the other ridiculous senators from both parties would at least be fun to irritate. Can we pick a member of congress we'd like to sit next to? Because Stephanie Herseth is kinda hot. Posted by: SeanH at February 17, 2006 09:02 PM What an embarrassment of riches--I'd have to say, for my choice of those I wouldn't like to sit next to, I have to choose B Boxer--but then, Patty Murray! Wait, Dianne Feinstein! gosh you're making this hard. As for who I wouldn't mind sitting next to, Ted might be fun if you were really drunk, if not, not so much. Norm Coleman is cute, and hasn't done anything to make me mad at him lately. So I pick him. Posted by: miriam's ideas Too many candidates to choose just one. Posted by: Robin Roberts at February 18, 2006 11:07 AM Cop-out. Posted by: Bill from INDC at February 18, 2006 12:21 PM The worst to ride next to would have to be Byrd from WVa. Posted by: harrison at February 18, 2006 01:21 PM Rangel. It would be too painful to have to order a "Johnny Walker African American". Posted by: West at February 18, 2006 03:12 PM First fear: Byron Dorgan. Nice enough guy, I suppose, but any flight he's on is probably going to North Dakota. I lived there once, and didn't leave anything I need to go back for. Second fear: Lisa Murkowski. Only reason she's a senator is nepotism (her father, as governor, appointed her). She'd spend the entire flight (to Alaska, mind you) trying to convince me otherwise. On the other hand, I like Alaska. Posted by: Jal at February 19, 2006 12:28 AM I sat with Sen. Paul Wellstone on a flight from Minneapolis to Washington on September 10, 2001. While I did not share his politics, he could not have been nicer to the passengers on the flight. Genuinely nice guy. Posted by: Jal at February 19, 2006 12:34 AM Definitely Schumer. The first time I recall seeing him on television was during some hearings on Waco. I remember thinking that I was looking at the antichrist, even though I am an atheist. The man creeps me out. Posted by: pwyll at February 19, 2006 01:57 PM Kerry or Santorum. Although I'm surprised nobody said Mikulski?? If you expanded it to House members, it would have to be Sheila Jackson-Lee. Obviously. Posted by: Apartment 604 at February 19, 2006 10:16 PM Heh. Obviously. Posted by: Bill from INDC at February 20, 2006 08:45 AM http://www.ringtones-dir.com/get/ ringtones site free. ringtones site, Free nokia ringtones here, Download ringtones FREE. From website . Posted by: ringtones free at September 3, 2006 07:58 AM good design Posted by: dating online at September 12, 2006 01:18 AM child, Child Abuse,Child Support,Child Development, Child Labor,Child Care,Child Protective Services,Destinys Child,Child Molesters,Child Psychology, Child Custody,Child Birth,Child Labor Laws,Child Abuse And Neglect,Child Stars,Bangbro Com Your Child,Child Health Plus,Child Obesity,The Golden Child,Mothers Day Poem From Child,Mother And Child, Posted by: child at September 12, 2006 01:21 AM Swimsuit, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit,Swimsuit Models,Swimsuit Coverups, Swimsuit Pice, Swimsuit Girls,Swimsuit Girls on yahoo shopingMs No Swimsuit,Swimsuit Conteste, Hot Swimsuit Anime Girlse, Jennie Finch Swimsuit, Swimsuit Issue,Swimsuit Issue google Maria Sharapova Swimsuit, Lindsay Lohan Swimsuit Pice, Serena Williams Swimsuit Pictures, Swimsuit Catalogse, One Piece Swimsuit, Swimsuit Photos, Swimsuit Photos also on msnSwimsuit Calender, Womens Swimsuit, Swimsuit Edition, Danica Patrick Swimsuit Pictures, Posted by: Swimsuit at September 12, 2006 01:23 AM best site Posted by: dating online at September 14, 2006 02:06 AM Swimsuit, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit,Swimsuit Models,Swimsuit Coverups, Swimsuit Pice, Swimsuit Girls,Swimsuit Girls on yahoo shopingMs No Swimsuit,Swimsuit Conteste, Hot Swimsuit Anime Girlse, Jennie Finch Swimsuit, Swimsuit Issue,Swimsuit Issue google Maria Sharapova Swimsuit, Lindsay Lohan Swimsuit Pice, Serena Williams Swimsuit Pictures, Swimsuit Catalogse, One Piece Swimsuit, Swimsuit Photos, Swimsuit Photos also on msnSwimsuit Calender, Womens Swimsuit, Swimsuit Edition, Danica Patrick Swimsuit Pictures, Posted by: Swimsuit at September 14, 2006 02:17 AM child, Child Abuse,Child Support,Child Development, Child Labor,Child Care,Child Protective Services,Destinys Child,Child Molesters,Child Psychology, Child Custody,Child Birth,Child Labor Laws,Child Abuse And Neglect,Child Stars,Bangbro Com Your Child,Child Health Plus,Child Obesity,The Golden Child,Mothers Day Poem From Child,Mother And Child, Posted by: child at September 14, 2006 02:25 AM Dating Dnline, Online Dating,Singles clubFree Online Dating,dating with Yahoo! PersonalsDating Sites,free online dating siteDating Services,Alliance-Inter Dating ServicesDating Tips,tips and advice free dating Dating Direct,Google PR Troubles and the Lycos Dating ServiceYahoo Dating,Partner mit YahooDating Personals,Christian Dating,Hotmail Largest Online Dating WebsiteDating Websites,Dating Sims,Dating Sim is a type of computer gameOnline Sims Dating Games,msn gay chat roomsInternet Dating,Great Expectations Dating,Plentyoffish Dating,Gay Dating,Free gay personals Nz Dating,Herpes Dating,Herpes Picture DatingMarried Dating,Free Dating Chat Sites, Posted by: dating online at September 14, 2006 02:30 AM army rape rape gang young Posted by: Faatiua at September 29, 2006 03:17 PM army rape rape gang young Posted by: Faatiua at September 29, 2006 03:18 PM fuck babe huge tit fuck Posted by: Lefijvoedms at October 1, 2006 10:15 AM fuck babe huge tit fuck Posted by: Lefijvoedms at October 1, 2006 10:19 AM fuck babe huge tit fuck Posted by: Lefijvoedms at October 1, 2006 10:20 AM manga adult xxx hot naked woman anime manga Posted by: Ozzw at October 2, 2006 05:09 PM manga adult xxx hot naked woman anime manga Posted by: Ozzw at October 2, 2006 05:12 PM Are you sure 46160 about this?!? Posted by: Flots Masriach at October 3, 2006 09:34 PM cumshots money shots creampie cumshots Posted by: Caclhn at October 4, 2006 01:54 PM cumshots money shots creampie cumshots Posted by: Caclhn at October 4, 2006 01:55 PM jap upskirt hot little angels upskirts Posted by: Uaswesfu at October 5, 2006 04:27 PM jap upskirt hot little angels upskirts Posted by: Uaswesfu at October 5, 2006 04:27 PM jap upskirt hot little angels upskirts Posted by: Uaswesfu at October 5, 2006 04:29 PM sexo zoofilia zvideos mpg zoofilia gratis Posted by: Reusju at October 5, 2006 08:25 PM donkeys + beastiality beastiality free vidoes Posted by: Umetpu at October 6, 2006 04:06 AM donkeys + beastiality beastiality free vidoes Posted by: Umetpu at October 6, 2006 04:08 AM famous blow job how to give blow job Posted by: Sqazaglf at October 6, 2006 07:57 AM famous blow job how to give blow job Posted by: Sqazaglf at October 6, 2006 07:58 AM famous blow job how to give blow job Posted by: Sqazaglf at October 6, 2006 07:59 AM sperm blonde chubby anal chubby cuties Posted by: Plxcs at October 8, 2006 09:09 PM young, sexy latin & columbian girls for marriage latin moms fucking Posted by: Hwxwuafc at October 9, 2006 08:32 AM young, sexy latin & columbian girls for marriage latin moms fucking Posted by: Hwxwuafc at October 9, 2006 08:33 AM young, sexy latin & columbian girls for marriage latin moms fucking Posted by: Hwxwuafc at October 9, 2006 08:36 AM pantyhose ads teen legs in pantyhose Posted by: Uwyybvdwhsz at October 9, 2006 09:58 PM pantyhose ads teen legs in pantyhose Posted by: Uwyybvdwhsz at October 9, 2006 09:58 PM voyeur female masturbation brunette masturbation Posted by: Meocxe at October 29, 2006 03:45 AM teen titains+tentacle rape aggravated rape Posted by: Ziamaqoelxp at October 30, 2006 07:15 PM asian public nudity asian pornstars Posted by: Houozad at October 31, 2006 11:05 AM jkhlasxkyk Posted by: Colt Good at October 31, 2006 11:13 PM jkhlasxkyk Posted by: Colt Good at October 31, 2006 11:14 PM shnjaygp Posted by: Aiden Parent at November 1, 2006 04:40 AM rjva Posted by: Trenton Bird at November 1, 2006 10:22 AM rjva Posted by: Trenton Bird at November 1, 2006 10:22 AM Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen reportedly signs a $42.5m (£22m) film deal starring his character Bruno... Posted by: Nathanael Pringle at November 12, 2006 02:39 PM Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy... Posted by: Dominick Delossantos at November 12, 2006 08:21 PM Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy... Posted by: Dominick Delossantos at November 12, 2006 08:22 PM very best site Posted by: Computers at November 16, 2006 02:05 PM very best site Posted by: Movies at November 16, 2006 02:06 PM Veteran game show host Bob Barker is stepping down from hosting The Price is Right after 35 years... Posted by: Estevan Whitaker at November 16, 2006 08:57 PM Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness... Posted by: Abel Wellman at November 17, 2006 02:34 AM Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness... Posted by: Abel Wellman at November 17, 2006 02:34 AM gallery women in pantyhose pantyhose high heels pantyhose heels Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness... Posted by: Easton Kelleher at November 21, 2006 05:23 AM Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition... Posted by: Clifford Flagg at November 22, 2006 08:17 AM Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition... Posted by: Clifford Flagg at November 22, 2006 08:18 AM |
Feed Me, Seymour
bill *at* indcjournal *dot* com
Support Our Advertisers
Search
Archives
June 2008May 2008 April 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004
Extras
PDARSD Atom RSS 2.0 RSS 1.0
Credits
Our Blogroll
|