INDCJournal: The Birdshot Conspiracy

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February 16, 2006

The Birdshot Conspiracy

Posted by Dorkafork

You're close to the truth, Mr. Marshall. Closer than you know.

I was in New Zealand 20 hours after the shooting. And there was no mention of it in any of the newspapers. Not one. If I had been in the press office I would have sent out a press release immediately. We wouldn't have told the ranch owner to release the news, we wouldn't have waited an hour to inform the President and never would've have waited another 17 hours to hold a press conference.

Why wasn't the press informed immediately? That's the real question, isn't it? Why? The how and who is just scenery for the public: birdshot, the ranch owner, quail... Keeps them guessing and prevents them from asking the most important question. Why? Why was there a delay in informing the press? Who benefited? Who has the power to cover it up? Who?

I wondered about that myself, too many problems with the official story. Was there ...

... a second shooter?

Well, thank you Mr. X. We may have a break in the case. We picked up a guy we think was involved. Claimed to be quail hunting in Texas on the day in question. Maybe we'll get him to testify.

Man, this is bigger than you! It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma! Don't you get it! Oh the web we weave when first we practice to deceive!

Coda:

Let the truth be known though the heavens fall!

Bill Adds: Cover-up!

Posted by Dorkafork at February 16, 2006 02:41 PM | TrackBack (7)

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Comments

Nice, dorka. Get on IM when you get a sec.

Posted by: Bill from INDC at February 16, 2006 02:57 PM

Thanks for clarifying the issue. !;-})

Posted by: Marvin at February 16, 2006 05:05 PM

You do know, of course, that when Cheney swung on the quail

he swung

Back -- and to the left
Back -- and to the left
Back -- and to the left

Posted by: Phil Smith at February 16, 2006 05:55 PM

Not all questions have been asked yet. Where was Dorkafork when the "shot heard round the press corps" was fired? Where was Bill? For that matter where was Jay Leno?
The cover for this cover-up is starting to look like a big tent.

Posted by: Lew Clark at February 16, 2006 06:00 PM

Yeah but where does fidel castro fit in?

Posted by: Val Prieto at February 16, 2006 06:01 PM

OMG, I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts!!! This is one of the funniest posts ever!! Anywhere!! I'm saving it to my hard drive for the times when I need a good laugh. THANK YOU!

Posted by: Maggie45 at February 17, 2006 12:42 AM

I tell ya, it's all part of Karl Rove's plot. Now, not even Dick Cheney's immune.

Posted by: rbj at February 17, 2006 08:46 AM

This whole thing *MAY* be getting out of hand.

Posted by: Yogimus at February 18, 2006 01:24 AM

Hilarious! Nice work.

Posted by: Nancy at February 18, 2006 09:27 AM

This is no laughing matter. Mr. Willington could have died. And a more timely press release would have aided in his care immensely. But NOOOO! Cheney had to keep a secret (except for notifying the local law enforcement officials and getting Mr. Willington prompt high quality medical care) from the Washington press corps.

Don't you know what a threat to our democracy that 18 hour delay represents?!

Posted by: A3K at February 18, 2006 10:40 AM

Hey A3K - are you dense, or just like spitting back anything your beloved GOP says?

The 18 hours was enough to let Dick sober up. He is not so stupid to think that wouldn't have been brought up. So he must have had a REALLY good reason to wait 18 hrs. Like, speculation of being drunk is better than evidence of being drunk.

Quit being such a toadie.

Posted by: rob at February 18, 2006 03:16 PM

18 hours to sober up?? Rob, you've never been quail hunting have you. You cannot hunt for quail drunk; you wouldn't hit anything; reaction times are such that. Especially, so drunk that a cop could tell you were drunk. The assumption of under the influence is not a foregone conclusion when ANY accident occurs. For example, if you get in a car accident at 5:30 on a Saturday, would you expect that the cop would immediately give you a breathalyzer?

Here's the thing, if I saw somebody downing beers during the hunt (the only way someone could possibly stay in an inebriated state at 5:30 pm if they drank at 12:00; remember the rule of thumb, it takes one hour to remove the effects of each 12 oz. beer), you think anyone would hunt with them? If you say "yes", you don't know bird hunters.

Posted by: JFH at February 18, 2006 03:42 PM

Look, the guy knew too much. He had to be taken care of.

Posted by: CIA special ops at February 18, 2006 10:29 PM

Strange thing how CHENEY wnt out after QUAIL and ended up nailing a turkey instead

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this lurched into my inbox this morning. i'm not going to vouch for it, as even Josh hasn't posted on it yet.

"Scret Service agents say Cheney was drunk when he shot lawyer"

http://www.capitolhillblue.com/artman/publish/article_8184.shtml

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