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November 29, 2005
Quick Links (and Thoughts on Canada)
Posted by Bill
*** Tell me: who exactly would buy this crap?
*** One is the loneliest number.
Sure, everyone already linked the sad Sheehan picture yesterday, but Florida Cracker provides multiple angles!
*** Some stuff is happening up in Canada ... but I can't for the life of me figure out what, nor muster the energy to care.
Yes, yes, I know that jokes about Canada's unimportance fulfill a tired cliche, but honestly, not for me: I make it a point to wake up every day and aggressively affirm my disdainful apathy for the impossibly vanilla hurly-burlies and intrinsically dull deficiencies of Canadian character, politics and "culture." Why? Experiential bias.
You see, a few years back, I had a roommate that dated one of them Canadiennes, and all she ever seemed to do was thumb her nose at America, shun the consumption of meat, brag about her vaunted expertise in snow ("You think this is snow? You think you know snow? Look, I'm from Canada, I know snow!") and make VERY BIG noise in a very small house during their incessant sessions of filthy Canuckian-American fucking. And the cacophonic insult was immeasurably compounded by the oddity of the noise: a pitching and whirling series of palsied stacatto yelps whose only parallel in nature might be the sound a seal makes when tortured by a sociopathic Inuit child, or perhaps when suffering a violent seizure, followed by a climactic stroke and cold, wet death rattle.
It went something like this:
ee-OW! eeHeeHOOOH! ee-OOW! ee-HOW! yep yep yep yep yep yep ee-OW! yepyepyepyepyepyep ee-OW! yepyepyepyepyepyep ee-OW! ee-OW!
yepyepyepyepyepyep ee-OW!
And on and on and on and on ...
And that's why I don't care much for Canadians or Canadian goings-ons or to-dos.
I always have my reasons.
Posted by Bill at November 29, 2005 09:01 AM | TrackBack (5)
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I think you left "-eh?" off that quote
Posted by: Kav at November 29, 2005 10:04 AM
The quote is accurate, no "eh" during the romantic fits.
I'm merely a reporter, not an embellisher.
Posted by: Bill from INDC at November 29, 2005 10:08 AM
Did she say "aboot" instead of "about"?
Posted by: JohnAnnArbor at November 29, 2005 10:21 AM
Posted by: Bill from INDC at November 29, 2005 10:30 AM
I'm merely a reporter, not an embellisher.
I'm confused, are you saying these aren't the same thing?
;-P
Posted by: Kav at November 29, 2005 10:39 AM
yes, dear readers, we have a nomination for 'BEST BLOG POST 2005' right here!
Posted by: rt at November 29, 2005 11:51 AM
"ee-OW! eeHeeHOOOH! ee-OOW! ee-HOW! yep yep yep yep yep yep ee-OW! yepyepyepyepyepyep ee-OW! yepyepyepyepyepyep ee-OW! ee-OW!"
Ahh, how many times have I heard these exact words...
Posted by: Ghost of a flea at November 29, 2005 12:05 PM
"ee-OW! eeHeeHOOOH! ee-OOW! ee-HOW! yep yep yep yep yep yep ee-OW! yepyepyepyepyepyep ee-OW! yepyepyepyepyepyep ee-OW! ee-OW!"
Ahh, how many times have I heard these exact words...
Posted by: Ghost of a flea at November 29, 2005 12:05 PM
See? These Canadians, they just repeat themselves, over and over ...
Posted by: Bill from INDC at November 29, 2005 12:21 PM
Posted by: JohnAnnArbor at November 29, 2005 12:25 PM
God, even Sully, in the midst of his complete and very public breakdown, never YODELLED
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at November 29, 2005 01:22 PM
Canada does keep us protected from polar bears.
And are you sure that they were engaged in coitus and not beaver flogging?
Posted by: rbj at November 29, 2005 01:31 PM
And are you sure that they were engaged in coitus and not beaver flogging?
Aren't those the same thing?
Posted by: Bill from INDC at November 29, 2005 01:33 PM
Not always, sometimes you have to use the whip first. And what does it say about a country that its national animal is the beaver.
Posted by: rbj at November 29, 2005 03:06 PM
WHat should it be? The caribou?
Posted by: JohnAnnArbor at November 29, 2005 05:28 PM
So, Bill, your roomie was getting some, though...and you were sitting alone, in your room, listening...eh?!
Well, that's the beauty of our capitalistic society; some are consumers, some are consumed, and some write stories about the other two.
Posted by: dougrc at November 29, 2005 05:42 PM
Moving from moonbatologist to Canuckagrapher?
But either is a great public service. Until your post I had always imagined cacaphonous Canadian coitus call-outs as consisting of:
Eh... Eh... Eh... Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-EHHHHH! Eh.
Citizen journalism at its best.
Posted by: TallDave at November 29, 2005 09:16 PM
Is this on my list of things I need to know before I die?
Posted by: rls at November 30, 2005 09:08 PM
ee-OW! eeHeeHOOOH! ee-OOW! ee-HOW! yep yep yep yep yep yep ee-OW! yepyepyepyepyepyep ee-OW! yepyepyepyepyepyep ee-OW! ee-OW!
yepyepyepyepyepyep ee-OW!
I knew I had heard this before...it's the words to the theme song from Raising Arizona.
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http://www.nockinsurance.com/wwwboard/messages/15194.html complimentwhosewondered
Posted by: friend at June 5, 2006 02:04 PM
OK, nobody in Canada says aboot, it's pronounced a-bow-t, where was this girl from in Canada anyway? Plus, she has a reason to be bitchy about the U.S., look how bitchy you are about Canadians.
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