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March 06, 2005
FOX Breaking News

Posted by Bill

According to Rita Cosby and a Time Magazine correspondent, suspected BTK Serial Killer Dennis Rader is "suffering from depression" as he sits in jail awaiting trial for the murder of at least 10 people. Reportedly, he also "found a pebble in his mashed potatoes."

Related historical precedents:

1960 - Holocaust architect Adolf Eichmann reportedly "suffered from alarm" upon his sudden capture by Mossad agents on the streets of Argentina.

1989 - Serial murderer Ted Bundy reportedly "suffered from acute fear of electrical shock" just prior to his Florida execution.

2005 - Noted urban jaywalker and illegal MP-3 downloader (reformed) Bill Ardolino reportedly "suffered from severe angst over his inability to find the Goddamn remote control" as his chronic sloth forced him to continue watching the husky, emotionally off-kilter "hard-hitting news analysis" of Rita Cosby on FOX News.

Posted by Bill at March 6, 2005 06:37 PM | TrackBack (5)

Comments

Yeah, but how much Michael Jackson coverage sandwiched the story about BTK?

Posted by: Robert Crawford [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 6, 2005 07:09 PM

I've heard that Saddam Hussein is suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of his ordeal when he was brutally hauled out of his hiding place.

Posted by: Baron Bodissey [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 6, 2005 07:51 PM

No, no, he suffered from "acute agoraphobia."

Posted by: Bill from INDC [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 6, 2005 07:57 PM

Also Multiple Personality Disorder -- remember all those Saddam doubles?

Posted by: Baron Bodissey [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 6, 2005 09:51 PM

Fox News, "Fair and Idiotic"?

There's a reason I abandoned TV News for the most part.

Posted by: MaxedOutMama [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 6, 2005 11:12 PM

"suffering from depression"
Well, I would certainly hope so.

Posted by: Dave Schuler [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 7, 2005 10:59 AM

I hear Ted Kenndy is suffering from riparian anxiety (due to an unfortunate past incident)and must now wear a snorkel whenever he muff-dives for the elusive bearded clam.

Posted by: bsp [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 7, 2005 12:22 PM

bsp -- good thing he doesn't have to know how to swim for that particular activity.

Posted by: Baron Bodissey [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 7, 2005 03:32 PM

I want to know about the wife. Ted Bundy & Jeffrey Dahmer may have been able to fool people over a cocktail, but living with a psychopath is some serious shit. Did u read where all his neighbors hated him?

Posted by: beautifulatrocities [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 7, 2005 03:35 PM

bsp, thanks for making me ill.

Posted by: Dave [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 7, 2005 04:28 PM

Jeff says what I've been thinking - is that an ex-wife or a current wife? People generally shake their heads when the neighbors say "he seemed so normal, and he mowed the lawn for us when we were on vacation." Nobody's saying that now, and there's the daughter who provided the DNA sample - the reports I've read indicated she was not suspicious or cooperating in that sense. Ironically, the lawyers want the general public to be concerned that the guy is depressed. Which could mean just about anything you would expect, regardless of whether the guy is guilty or not. He's in jail.

Posted by: tee bee [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 7, 2005 04:35 PM

Ha ha, your top ad says "bolggers".

It's off topic, but I had to draw attention to it somehow.

Posted by: marchandchronicles [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 8, 2005 02:52 AM

They always play these stories as 'He Was the Perfect Husband'. Please. People don't become sociopaths overnight. People like Scott Peterson simply prey on gullible women like Amber Frye, who handed him her keys after their second shag. I'm sure Laci Peterson chose to ignore a lot of red flags that her husband was at the very least a worthless lying scumbag. And I'm sure there were a lot of red flags in the BTK case too

Posted by: beautifulatrocities [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 8, 2005 01:13 PM

who handed him her keys after their second shag

And her toddler child - makes you wonder what insane thing these women must be looking for. They must be reading those cheap romance novels where the guy is either an @sshole at first or seems to be hiding some sort of criminal activity, then turns out to be the perfect guy who just needed a woman smart enough to see what wasn't there to be seen. Of course, I'm just guessing about the books.

Posted by: tee bee [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 8, 2005 03:12 PM

1-800-DRLAURA

Posted by: beautifulatrocities [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 8, 2005 06:42 PM

dee are el ay, you are ay. "I've got a new attitude!" Do you think they'll be singing that while the ex sits on death row?

Posted by: tee bee [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 9, 2005 09:25 AM

BSP - he doesn't need a snorkel, that's a lake that would throw him back.

Rita and Geraldo should just hitch up and start the National Enquirer Channel.

Posted by: Doug [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 14, 2005 11:09 PM