The former Democratic president, older now, and gray, looked into her eyes with a lonely neediness, almost despair, as if to say, "If only someone would give me her love, then it would be all better." She was well past her youthful days of "rescue" dating, but she allowed herself this solecism, just this once, just tonight....

Ah, in the spirit of Rachel Corrie....

I can't believe it. you mean she's gonna buy it in the Middle East? what will happen to the country without Ellen defending it? what will happen to all the lonely housewives and househusbands who have been following Ellen, urging her on to triumph and quietly observing her despair? what about them, Bill?

Boxer must be stopped. Ellen must return to California, then to DC, and next, the White House. and I'm pretty sure that Senator Dott is either gonna have to leave his wife and become a democrat first gentleman or die of a heart attack in some seedy motel room.

his last words? "Ellen - I should have listened to you. I should have respected women, the earth, minorities and trees. I should have used my power for the good of society rather than for my own greed, and that of my greedy Republican party members. I never should have had that love child with the maid and left her to be cared for by her own kind. unless, of course, that helped them collect welfare they would not have otherwise been eligible for. Remember me, and prevail for the good of society, and think of how it was when we... arrrrggghhhh."*

*waddya want? of course his dying words are windy, he's a senator. pay attention.

"Alviso silty clay loam" is in California.

and not to be nitpicky, but shouldn't bellowed Ellen courageously be bellowed with such courageous independence - or courage? it's so hard to maintain a coherant narrative voice and character dialogue when you have a ghost writer.

Boxer and her co-author do seem to love the word "courage."

hey, we housefraus are not gonna stop to look up Alviso silty clay loam when Ellen is in trouble! but thank goodness she makes it back to DC. unless some wacko industrialist plows her over anyway.... crap. I can see now that I'm gonna have to preorder it in hardcover. Who's the publisher? Random House's Celluloid Wisdom Special Editions Division? and how'd you know so much about the dirt?

Is this real? Are you sure these excerpts are real? Have I been completely fooled by a ruse? My mind is melting from the injury of it. No more, Bill. I beg you, no more. (..unless it's really, really awfuller)

What utterly whorific pose; a slut for a book deal could not make up stuff so awful it cannot even be called horrific prose.

If these hideous rumors of authorship are confirmed true, the fact that Boxer is walking brain dead should now be completely beyond dispute. Such could only be the work of a breathlessly stupid prig.

Have I been completely fooled by a ruse?

Yes. Yes you have.

the writing was pretty transparent, but what about the news release? the "co" author is a legit (as far as I can tell) romance writer, and the publisher has it on their site, so I'm convinced the release is legit...

I say carry on and publish it under the nom de plume Barbara Boxer. I think that would be some of the best fun on the planet. and you clearly have a talent for the stuff, Bill.

I have a talent for lots of excreble things that should never come to full fruition. And yes, the release about the book is real, whereas the "excerpts" are not.

Hey, Bill, keep it up. Your “"excerpts" will be more entertaining and literate than the pulp that Babs and her ghostwriter will produce.

PS I’d rather buy your version.

What a hoot!! I was totally, totally fooled. Still it made my day, Bill. Keep it coming.

Through her blissful post-orgasmic haze she could see the President attempting to finish himself in the bathroom. This at first caused her some self-reproof, but she was not about to go back to the old days of her youth, of "obliging" her man, not now, not this U.S. Senator. On the contrary, his apparently growing consternation began to seem satisfying to her, even humorous as he struggled to....

Man, Jim, I really brought out the sicko in you, huh?

Heh.

Jim's a bit graphic, but he's definitely tapped into his inner feminist.

Reading these excerpts, three things come to mind...

1. I have written a story to make a grown man cry, but at least it was intentional.

2. The audiobook will be banned from GITMO due to restrictions against torture.

3. Only a political supporter would buy unreadable crap like this.

Please! No more excerpts!

Aw, come on...can't you come up with a longer excerpt than THAT?

Nice excerpt, but it could have used some more orgling.