Fletch is no has-been, he's never-was and he's likely to sink further into oblivion after this tasteful holiday rant.

Alec Baldwin and Susan Sarandon accepted "Defender of Democracy" Awards? WTF is with that? WTF did they do?

I guess at the next election I'll get on tv bad mouthing the Conservative candidates and saying stupid thing. That must be what get's you one of these awards.

Oh, I'd have to contribute large sums of money to a 527 or some liberal candidate also. Well, that isn't going to happen.

I'm working on a new book:

"Bullshit, and the fucking dumb fuckers who spew it."

Herr Chase just made the list.

Excellent parody, although I'm not sure that ProfShade really has Hitchens' voice down. That was definitely the snarky documentary filmmaker from "The Simpsons." ;)

Oh, and another thing: Chevy Chase (aka Will Rogers in the 21st Century) was the opening act for *Tom Daschle*?

"Reached for comment today at his Manhattan condo, Chevy Chase added, 'I meant the whole thing! Bush is just a stupid llama-f***er, just like all those bathrobe pundits on the internet! These people have destroyed American! ARGHHHH!'

Though organization officials initially distanced themselves from Chase's comments at the event on Wednesday, insiders at People for the American Way have privately expressed certainty that Chase is sure win for next year's Defender of Democracy award. Declining to be named, one senior organizer expressed what she said was the overwhelming sentiment: 'Thank goodness somebody is finally speaking the truth! If only all the ignorant rednecks would stop thumping their Bibles for a moment and listen to Chevy they would see understand why hate and rage is the most constructive way to engage politics! Damn for not listening to heros like Chevy and Michael [Moore]! ARGHHHH!'"

Like "Linda who?" Rondstadt, Chase is a foundering former talent forced to use expletives to make up for a lack of marketable talent.

Its quite pathetic, actually.

Goodbye, Fletch...

Unlike Moore, however, no one at this event came to his aid. Apparently, he is quite the prick as well as political imbecile. Profshade's parody aside (which was good), no conservative could ever humiliate Chevy Chase as much as his own peers did during his Friar's Club Roast in 2002. Most roasts have an underlying affection for their subjects and it's a group of friends that roast the "honoree." Not so with Chase's; he was ripped apart, had no friends present and at one point, Richard Belzer says, "The only time Chevy Chase had a funny bone in his body was when I fucked him in the ass"--ouch!

Attributed to Johnny Carson: "Chevy Chase couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner."

He's just pi$$ed because he can't do an impression of Bush (since he's not in the habit of slipping on banana peels or walking into walls).

That goober is just ticked 'cause Dorothy dropped a house on his sister! :)

The sounds eminating from Chase, Baldwin, Streisand, et al, when they "think" for themselves show why scriptwriters and lyricists are so essential in the entertainment field today.

I remember a book a few years back wherein the cast members were asked who was their favorite all time guest (Candace Bergen) and their least favorite (Chevy Chase). Evidently, his success had made him a pompous schmuck by the time he returned, and he was considered, by all accounts, to be loathesome to all.

Hmmmm, I wonder why I had no trouble believing it?