I sidled up to a small group and surreptitiously snapped a picture of the tribal colors and insignia that mark a Killer Orgee. Always remember this helpful old rhyme that will help you distinguish this dangerous breed of moonbat from benign look-alikes:

"Yellow, green and black,
Under red,
No need for dread,

"Red, green and black,
Under yellow tone,
Wind up in Giants Stadium endzone!"

Here's a full frontal view of a Killer Orgee. Note the fact that these highly aggressive and intolerant beasts never smile. Some speculate that their facial muscles are paralyzed and unable to move in the happy manner common to humans and friendlier species of moonbats, sort of a partial form of Moebius Syndrome. I say "partial," because these buggers can certainly frown. Oh yes, they can frown.

Note the logic on this fellow's sign - he equates any form of conditional reproductive rights with interference in his right to mate or have recreational intercourse. Or sleep, apparently. In any event, despite their dedicated attempts to thin their own numbers with late-term abortions and copious amounts of illicit substances, the moonbat infiltration of human educational institutions guarantees a cyclical, never-ending swarm. Thank heavens.

Suddenly, just as I spotted this fellow, a buzz of excited chittering began to overtake the gathering. A loudspeaker whined, and a Killer Orgee triumphantly declared that they would play a recorded message from Mumia Abu-Jamal, live from death row! Compounding my confusion at the existence of a "live ... tape," I stopped and stood befuddled at my ignorance of the fact that such a famous American was a moonbat! And to top it off, I had no idea he was on death row, or what for!

Let's have a listen to this "live recording" from Mumia Abu-Jamal:

Mumia Abu-Jamal

"Almost all of us from wherever we’ve come have something vital in common: we’re engaged in the world of work."

This sounds like the opening to one of my old secondary school educational films about economics.

"Some of us are members of unions, as am I a proud card-carrying member of the national writer’s union, which is affiliated with the National Auto Workers."

Writing? Auto Workers? Death Row? Basketball? I'm right confused, I am.

Let's take a commercial break and wait for this fellow to finish up.

Before and after a hard day of scientific moonbat safari, I love to stop in at the local Super Wal Mart, where I pick up supplies, fuel up with some McDonalds, grab a new prescription for my spectacles and have elective surgery, all at low, low, low and super-low prices!

At Wal Mart, they're rolling back prices every day! God love 'em! Always low prices! Always!

I have no idea how they do it!

Mumia Abu-Jamal

Alright, we're back, and he's still talking ...

"The drastic loss of US manufacturing jobs and the resulting loss of wages can be traced to the NAFTA Bill. That’s why a Million Worker March is so necessary, to break free of the corporate gibble-gobble that now dominates the coming election."

Gibble-gobble, indeed.

"It is … a resurgence of the labor movement that is truly revolutionary and does not settle for its slice, but changes the social order completely or else we will be choosing the same old monkeys to sit over us, as they betray us forever. Their time must end.

From death row, this is Mumia Abu-Jamal."

I thought the old bloke would never finish. He was a fantastic American basketball player, but he's a bloody awful public speaker. He's got some dedicated hooligans, though ...

“Free Mumia Now! Free Mumia Now!”

Right. Moving on.

Larger image

Look at this beautiful old fellow, he's just lovely, a perfect example of Macroglossius lunarius pacifistus aeternus, or Aged Hippie Moonbat. Note the multi-colored sleeves, two-fingered gang sign and permanent orbital rainbow that are all dead giveaways for the breed.

This grand old Duke was certainly traveling with swarms and protesting everything from wars to nuclear reactors to shopping malls before I was even a gleam in my besotted father's eye. Just goes to show you, the causes may change, but the sentiment and lysergic acid diethylamide remain the same.

Rock on, Rainbow Warrior.

A relative of the Aged Hippie Moonbat is this breed of Macroglossius lunarius praeceptor academia, commonly found teaching the evils of American imperialism in social studies and English classes from middle school to universities all across North America. Quite a common, peaceful and lovely breed, essential to the continued renewal of the species.

Right, this is a rather nasty DC swarm regular, one of the alpha-males among the Desmodius lunarius peiorus solacium formidilosus, or Evil Terrorist Supporting Moonbats. Quite a dangerous, intolerant breed, they are known for constantly screeching at a pitch and decibel that's harmful to human ears. In addition, they actively support the violent sacrifice of innocent humans by proxy.

Even as a research scientist and species aficionado, I have little positive to say about this parasitic and nasty fellow. Moving on.

INDC regulars may recognize this female lunarius peiorus solacium formidilosus, a local DC moonbat activist that likes to shout down Iraqi expatriates as CIA spies. It seems that she's pregnant. The offspring will likely have the pleasure of growing up in a black crib, in a black-walled room while wearing a black leather jumper and being read Nietzian nursery rhymes. Very typical of the species.

A closer look reveals an attempt to block out fantastical mind rays that she believes are Karl Rove's attempt to control her thoughts. Unfortunately, given the hysterical and counterproductive tone and influence of her discourse, I'd say she's failing. Miserably.

This sign is great display of the typical logic and mathematics of a macroglossius lunarius commonus. For example, in their parlance:

Peace = Free

3,000 protestors standing = "1 Million workers/moms/men marching"

Net Even Job Creation/Loss = "1.6 million lost jobs"

France + Germany = "Europe"

1,200 military deaths = "Quagmire"

The list goes on and on ... and on.

I spied these dedicated game wardens having a bit of a huddle, no doubt to plot advanced strategies of professional moonbat containment in order to guarantee a safer gathering. Let's sneak a microphone in and have a listen ...

"So I mean, would ya?"

"Would I what?"

"You know ..."

"Dude! No fucking way! I'm not going to catch patchouli!"

"It's not contagious, dumbass, it's a scented oil."

"Oh, ok ... well ... in that case, sure, go for it. Tap it."

"Cool."

Right.

Oh here's a fantastic beauty, a Macroglossius lunarius grandiculus oculatus, or Big-Eyed Kravitz Bat. These fascinating creatures have extremely large eyes with a compound structure very similar to that of an insect. Here's an scientific approximation of how these amazing creatures see the world ...

The irony of the eye structure is its maladaptive nature. As this slide demonstrates, she's almost effectively blind as as a bat. Fascinating.

Here we've got a few specimens of lunarius falso puerilis conquisitionis, sporting signs and painfully earnest stares.

Adorable!

Ah, our first welcome sighting of Macroglossius lunarius antigeriocolorarius, or Technicolor Hippie Moonbats. These delightful beasties are typically boisterous and sassy, really just the most charming creatures you'd ever hope to meet. Some excellent plumage on that male.

Macroglossius lunarius boarerus commonus

A Common Barking Moonbat in full-throated yowl. Fantastic.

One cultural theme common to all moonbats is their affinity and attraction for losing causes. Scientists aren't sure if they become attracted to the causes because they happen to be losing at the time, or whether the causes lose because the moonbats rally behind them. It's a classic chicken and egg argument that's perplexed my colleagues for decades.

I'm not quite sure what to make of this typically incomprehensible totem. Excellent craftsmanship.

Macroglossius lunarius commonus folk dancing musicians! Let's have a listen:

Don’t scab for the bosses
Don’t listen to their lies
Poor folks ain’t got a chance
Unless they organize

Which side are you on boys?
Which side are you on?

Which side are you o-ha-ha-haaaan
Ha-hahaa-aaan?
Which side are you on?
Hoo—ooh-oh-oooon?

An adoring audience, but noticeably, no dancing. Killer Orgees are much too serious and dour a breed for such displays of frivolity.

One might recognize one of the singing moonbats for his supporting role in the film "A Mighty Wind." This is unsurprising, as many moonbats become quite successful in Hollywood.

Flush with confidence and excitement from the day's observations, I decided to attempt more direct communication with a member of the swarm. This fellow looked at me with suspicion as I approached, but a timely offering of a packet of ho-ho's soon gained his confidence.

INDC: Your sign says, ‘Don’t invade Sudan.’ What are you anticipating with this statement?

"David:" Well, both of the … both of the major presidential candidates and even a lot of supposedly peace assessment groups are conducting this media campaign claiming that there’s genocide in Sudan and calling for an invasion. There’s a lot of oil there and they – the US government - might want to get that. The US government has been attacking Sudan for the past 10 years and supporting the various rebel groups that are causing the problems.

INDC: But you don’t think that there’s genocide going on in the Sudan?

David: There are in Darfur … there are like at least 3 or 4 different armed groups fighting and, um, I don’t know who’s to blame for all the violence or how much there is, but I know it’s being caused by intervention. So more intervention is going to make things worse.

INDC: Well most accounts say that the problem lies with government-supported Arab militias that are killing civilians.

David: They say that it’s Arabs exterminating black people in Darfur, black Muslims. In reality, everybody in Sudan is black.

INDC: Actually it’s a very subtle racial war amongst different groups of "black" people (Arab and African). A recent UN report just stated that 70,000 people died in Darfur in March …

David: That wasn’t violence

INDC: … in refugee camps.

David: … that was people dying of diseases and refugee camps and stuff. It requires more money for food aid and medical aid and that kind of thing, not a military intervention.

INDC: But the reason that the refugees are there in the first place is because of the violence that’s going on. So you don’t advocate any military intervention to stop the violence?

David: No.

INDC: So how can the violence be stopped?

David: Well they can stop supporting all the um, groups that are perpetrating the violence, like the rebel groups.

INDC: How are they supporting them? And by “they,” do you mean the United States?

David: The US government and whoever else is doing it.

INDC: And what’s “their” motivation?

David: Um, to continue to destabilize the country and …

INDC: Why?

David: I don’t exactly know what their motivation is, just to keep it from becoming a big power. I mean, it’s a large country and they want to make sure they don’t become a big economic power and they want to go in and control the oil.

INDC: Ah, now I see. Thank you, thank you very much.

Well, I'd certainly gained this fellow's favor and learned a great deal about the Sudan's impending rise as a world power, along with the nobility of the Iraqi resistance.

My favorite quote from a union speaker sums up the day's lesson, I think:

“It takes flawed intelligence to talk about flawed intelligence! The way they talk about flawed intelligence, Iraq could NOT attack the United States within 45 minutes with nuclear arms like they said!”

Flawed intelligence, indeed.

Stay tuned for the next installment. Until next time!

And vote for INDC. Thanks.