Yay! More moonbat research! Keep it coming, Bill.

Dear Sir,

I am writing to complain about your recent publication regarding your venture into a swarm of moonbats. While you may be a professional, many of your readers do not understand the amount of danger one places themselves into while casually observing these volatile creatures. Your story did not indicate any preparations that are absolutely necessary when dealing with these creatures.

First you should always wear repellant. I find that deodorant works well in smaller crowds,but often when engaged in such swarms as yours, I will dress like a McDonalds' manager. To the moonbats, the plumage reminds them of work which they avoid.

Also, you should have worked in a blind. You could have easily hidden yourself behind an artificial ACLU booth.

Finally, you did not mention any sort of lure that could have been used to draw away the crowd in case of an attack. The best known lure using modern technology is a Starbuck's coffee shop. Just be sure when you deploy the lure that you do not laugh at the irony of the moonbats wearing 'Down With Capitalism' drinking $5 double soy mocha lattes.

Please consider these items the next time you decide to publish your findings. Many people are curious about moonbats and should not be lulled into thinking they are harmless and easily approachable.

Thank you for your time.

When does the relocation program begin so we may tranquilize and relocate these pitiful creatures to a habitat more designed to accomodate their primal needs?

Any suggestions?

"When does the relocation program begin so we may tranquilize and relocate these pitiful creatures to a habitat more designed to accomodate their primal needs?"

"Any suggestions?"

Berkely? Cambridge? Canada? France? Syria? Darfur?

Dear Sir,

I live in a State which has a large concentration of Moonbats, living free in their natural environment. Most of ours are the ones with Volvos and bright plumage from Eastern Mountain Sports (Desmodius lunarius hippocriticus).

Occasionally a few will venture into my place of business, a retail store.

Since these are among the least aggressive of the specie and we are rather used to them here, I have managed to avoid injury and even to interact with them!

Unfortunately, this gentle set has produced an unpredictable second generation which is exhibiting more aggressive tendencies. We suspect there may have been some cross breeding with what we thought was a very isolated pod of feral Wesleyanicus.

Is this actually possible? Are we in danger?

Sincerely,

Northeastern Naturelover

ahhh...ahhh.... man, what a fix! that one made me pass out. i think my tolerance has gone down (hint).

i have heard it postulated on the discovery channel that the migratory event you documented at the dc mall is similar to the migratory movement of slamon. was there any egg-laying at the mall that day? did you witness any nesting? did any grizzlies feed on them at the water?

Good work, Bill.

Scary to see how the young have been so corrupted by the aged moonbat population. Thankfully, there are many MANY more who can think for themselves on the rise.

Keep up the good work and be safe!

There was a time in the 1990s when it looked like these rare, fragile creatures were in danger of extinction.

Thank God for the Bush administration's efforts to help nurture the species and its many subspecies back from near-destruction!

LOL

Who says Bush isn't good for the environment?

hehehe

beautiful. Truly, you should make a docu-parody out of this... I bet you could get the boys from Southpark to help you finance it.

Have you ever seen the opening of Dr. Zhivago, where the peasants come down the street with their signs and the Cossacks are all lined up and then start sabering the peasants?

Wouldn't that be a beautiful sight?
Cossacks and Moonbats?

The chick in uniform is hot. I love women in poorly fitted polyester!

In a word--WOW! I'm crying I'm laughing so hard! I think I might retire from blogging after reading that post...and now I'm off to Wizbang to go vote. Nice work, Bill...

Bill, while I respect your research, I must nevertheless challenge your identification of the subspecies "Long-tongued Poo Eating Moonbat." That particular subspecies does indeed engage in "Poochotle," a bonding ritual to establish friendship and beneficial economic interaction, but the ritual is initiated by the more abbreviated vocalization of "Eat Sh*t!"

To my mind, the particular specimen photographed by you belongs to the more docile subspecies "Yuppius Ignoramus." Members of this group are hatched in mostly white, affluent suburbs and shepherded to universities where they are brought to maturity in nurseries called "Dept. of Sociology." The plumage shown in your photo --"The Rich Can Eat My Sh*t" -- has variously been interpreted as referring to their future faculty publications or as a touching plea for employment by the wealthy.

Sorry to harsh your mellow.

Hey, that old "Cheney Did It" guy sounds like he might be a Lyndon LaRouche follower: The focus on Cheney, the bit about royalists trying to bankrupt the US. That's pretty cool. We had them here in Boston before the election, manning tables in Downtown Crossing on weekdays and leaving pamphlets on people's doorsteps. It's a shame you didn't get to talk to him more; LaRouche occupies a wonderfully detailed fantasy world. He wants to build a railway from Chicago to Beijing, among other places. What a guy!

holdfast, don't relocate them to Cambridge. Cambridge is already at its maximum carrying capacity for the breed.

Syria is a much better idea. In fact, I once chatted with a moonbat in Harvard Square who told me he was going to learn Arabic and move to Syria because it was "a free country" where he wouldn't have to worry about getting capped and/or disappeared by the Power Structure. Why would they bother killing the poor smelly little thing? Because he DARED to tell the AWFUL, HIDDEN TRUTH about Andrew Jackson's crimes against humanity! At least he SAID it was the truth; it certainly matched what they taught me in the public high school I went to. I guess they'll secretly execute my old history teacher, too. Poor Miss Feckenschnelder. She'll have to flee to Syria to be safe.

I went to the website advertised in picture of banner: www.dontjustvote.com. They had a page inviting reports from "direct actions" taking place on Nov. 2. The results are quite insightful and provide moonbatologists insight into the social psychology of the genus. Here is a sample:

BEYOND THE BALLOTS

HOUSTON Action & Outcome Report from NOV 2 & 3

The Actions: What was anticipated on November 2nd to be a spirited swarm of Houstonians fed-up with the patronizing "Lesser-of-Two-Evils" electoral system turned out to be a much smaller, de-spirited band of about 8 people....

A bit disappointed, and for that matter, confused, as to why so few of us showed up on the 2nd, most of the bunch came back downtown the next day for an action with a dual message - No matter who wins the election, we want our democracy back, and we want withdrawal and justice in Iraq. Despite our being convinced of an enormous, swelling turnout of people not only already outraged by the Iraqi Occupation, but of Bush running away with yet another four-year term, we gained on the day previous about four attendees. This dwindled quickly to a final head-count of five, as many of the individuals felt that a message delivered by a marching mob of twelve would not only be weak, but easily dismissed. Those of us who remained marched with our signs and banners, as well as the five of us could, from downtown to Houston's more established cultural hub - the Montrose - where we felt our message might be better recieved. There, while we recieved much negative, reactionary right-wing response, we were still able to connect and exchange with passersby, and to engage in stimulating, constructive dialogue.

The Outcome: As we sat in a discussion circle on the Federal Building's sidewalk on the 3rd to discuss what to do with such an unexpected turnout, we also addressed the need to go a little further "beyond the ballots" than we were going ourselves, and that maybe the shoddy turnout of bodies reflected that need...So, in hindsight, while the events that traspired on the 2nd and 3rd may have fallen short of the hopes and expectations of those who organized it, it just may have sparked the engines that will bring about a common vision of inclusive, cooperative, direct "democratic" action.

I hypothesize that the moonbat genus has a most unique psychological profile which has acted as a species isolating mechanism. Namely, moonbats are reverse optimists. Evidence of declining support is actually interpreted by the social group as success. Thus one can predict that moonbats will engage in activities most likely to repel inclusion of members of other genera. While this may prevent formation of hybrids I am concerned that in the end this strategy will bring about their doom. Clearly a government program is needed to ensure their preservation - perhaps involving distribution of strange blends of coffee and clove cigarettes.

Where I live, we rarely see this species. A subspecies does exist however: macroglossius lunarius reclusivius. They are nocturnal and reclusive. On very rare occasions, such as war in Iraq, they will timidly peep out of their otherwise discreet disguises for a low key "protest" or candlelight vigil. It's usually an orderly, mild affair with little yelling and NO violence. For they know full well that the surrounding inhabitants can be extremely violent if pushed hard enough. Indeed, moonbats fear for their own saftey if they are too vocal.

They can become a danger when they obtain positions of power in employment settings (they rarely do in government around here, at least not explicitly.) They will attemp to use their positions to indoctrinate unwilling, but vulnerable members of other species into adopting their maladaptive lifestyles - usually without success.

Of course, as with any location, the more virulent variety of macroglossius lunariis academius imbecilius is found in greater (and noisier) numbers around state sponsored universities. Alas, that is to be expected and there is little one can do about it.

No, by and large, we've been quite lucky for many years. We must remain vigilant however, because we're finding moonbat droppings in ever larger amounts. Even in Alabama, they leave maloderous moonshadows wherever they go.

My God!!

I tried reading as if Steve Irwin were narrating.
Now I can't get him outta my head.

I will sue you! I swear! Aaaaarrrggghh!

Bill:

Thanks for the insightful moonbat report. I want you to realize that, beyond the entertainment and curiosity factor, you are providing a much needed service to many of us.

I want everyone to realize how fortunate you are to only have to observe the moonbat swarms from a journalistic distance. I have an 18-year daughter who recently moved to the west coast moonbat headquarters (San Francisco) to go to art college. (In the interest of her safety and her social standing I cannot reveal her name). You see, she must live, work and interact within moonbat swarms on a daily basis.

We both knew when she chose to go to art college in SF that she would have to live and breathe among moonbats. But we had no idea how dangerous even common moonbats can be, let alone the more dangerous of their ilk. She lives in a shrouded identity, and must literally live among moonbats and walk in moonbat shit.

Your reports will help me in protecting my only daughter, forced to live in a moonbat cave for 4 years, all for the love of her craft.

Thanks, but hey, man - I live in DC. I step in a bit of moonbat crap every day. Though a San Fran art school does take the cake ...

Yes, I must give an embedded reporter his due -- passing out due to moonbat fumes is indeed taking a bullet for the team.

Indeed, that was very amusing. Usually I find the moonbat species to be a great annoyance, an infestation which could most appropriately be dealt with some sort of exterminant, Moonbat RAID so-to-speak. But your enlightening documentary has helped me to appreciate the greater value that the moonbats provide to our ecosystem--that of entertainment.

As for Andrew Jackson's atrocities...well, he was the first Democrat, for one, but his atrocities were not really any worse than those of any other Democrat's. The Indian Removal Act of 1830 and the Trail of Tears notwithstanding, of course (hopefully your history books in high school mentioned something about those, unless of course you went to a public school where Democrats have whitewashed history to make themselves out to always have been the party of the poor, workers, immigrants, minorities, etc...:-P).