Kerry campaign headquarters.

It is from this conference room that John Kerry plots the destruction of the American way of life. When I walked in, I immediately distracted the man-secretary by asking politely for the tickets, all the while surreptitously snapping a precious few reconaissance photos. The quality was low because I had to move quickly; the Kerry-ites fast became suspicious as my Republican flesh began to smoke and sizzle from its close proximity to the source of all that is liberal and French-looking.

This was the centerpiece on the right-hand wall in the lobby. I think it's designed to remind people of something, though I'm not sure what.

Misty, watercolored memories: To the left of the desk, some helpful photos.

After grabbing the tickets, taking some pics and weathering some looks of mild suspicion, I beat a hasty retreat. But was I really safe, or was I merely leaping out of the frying pan and into the fire?

I arrived at the site of the rally almost an hour early, and walked by some activists protesting on the sidewalk before the event.

WE INTERRUPT THIS POST FOR A DISCLAIMER: I loosely consider myself a Republican, but I am also pro-choice. Before anyone gets their panties in a wad in the comments section after this post, please try not to confuse criticism of the messengers with that of the message. I refuse to do a long treatise on the subject during this post. Thank you.

Bubba Sparxxx, DCMPD and three "sunufabitches."

Security, security, security.

I found the security tent a bit lacking. I'll skip the details for national security purposes, but I'm pretty sure that I could have snuck in with a beltload of Semtex and a cellphone detonator ...

Along the back street behind the rally, the Secret Service parked a fleet of greyhounds to block snipers. The logistics involved with repeatedly setting up events like this boggles the mind.

The Pro-Choicers gather in front of the stage.

I staked out a nice spot almost immediately in front of the podium, second-row.

"Girls Gone Wild: John Kerry Pro-Choice Rally!!"

The pro-choice groups were handing out shirts at the event, and rally participants felt the need to immediately change into them, showing disturbing quantities of flesh, including some brief shots of woman and man-boobage. I felt like I was at Burning Man or the Love Parade, except there was no MDMA, and all the naked people were really old and unattractive. The worst of it was blessedly not caught on film.

"But mommy, John Kerry scares me!"
"You'll stop complaining and cheer - it's not too late for mommy to have an abortion, you know!"

Another pistola-packin "sunufabitch."

What is JFK's swiftboat mate holding? A white balancing sheet or a copy of Kerry's plan to fight the war on terror?

The t-shirt on the woman in front of me ... evidence of insidious foreign influence?

This lady was a load of laughs. She had to go to the bathroom about thirty minutes after staking out her prime groupie spot for the rally, and proceeded to shout at every worker that walked by "Where bathroom! WHERE BATH-ROOM!"

Otherwise, the following snippets were overheard while mixing in the crowd:

* Rallyguy: "I'm actually from Midland, and I met Bush. He's a real personable guy, real nice. He's just an idiot."

Rallygal: "Well, he went to Yale."

Rallyguy: "It ain't hard to get all C's."

* (Chants) "Pro-choice! Pro-Kerry! Pro-choice! Pro-Kerry! Pro-choice! Pro-Kerry! (chant stops, pauses) God I wish McCain would have run ..."

But McCain's pro ... oh nevermind.

* "I bet all the Democratic Secret Service people love him to death ..."

* Rallygal2: "Did you see those Pro-Life trucks around the block? Those pictures are really gross ...

Rallygal3: Yeah, that's what they WANT you to think ..."

* "Whatta we want? CHOICE! When do we want it? NOW!" (Rinse, lather, repeat)

Once again, Bill considers selling out the defense of Western Civilization for the siren song of a treasonous enchantress. Snap out of it boy! Concentrate!

The crowd makes some nooooise!

Here he comes ...

Bonjour! Le Sénateur John Kerreeee!

Some of the many faces of John Kerry.

This illustrates why I feel pity for politicians - because at every moment, every event, there's some asshat like me constantly snapping photos in an attempt to catch them doing something dumb. This is the third time that I've been in close proximity to the senator, and he's well-represented by the impression that you get on tv: somewhat awkward, but also imbued with quite a bit of natural confidence. That being said, some of his "uh-huh" faces were rather amusing. I've never seen Dubya, but I'm sure that watching him has its own special entertainment value.

Video of the rally can be found here.

Representatives of NARAL and Planned Parenthood.

Both of their speeches were hyperbolic and included the assertions that choice was the most important issue in the campaign, and the most fundamental issue that determines the state of women's civil rights - worldwide!

Um ... stoning of women in the name of Islam? Acid attacks on women? Female circumcision? Give me a fucking break. Making the assertion that abortion is a key issue for women in the US is highly arguable; projecting your self-centered focus on abortion to the rest of the world is foolish.

I had to shake my head. These people wouldn't know a fundamental issue if it smacked 'em in the face. We all have our predilections and pet causes, but I was struck by the cliched realization that many folks' entire political belief structure is based around total party allegiance that stems from only one or two issues. It's understandable, and I don't expect that a pro-choice activist would be very pleased with Bush, but the relative importance of mild erosions in access to abortions seems to pale in comparison to the threat of the inevitable nexus of WMD and terror.

These folks agree about the fact that we're at war; they're just a bit confused about who constitutes the main enemy to their way of life; especially concerning the rights of women. If you bought what they were selling, you'd think that George Bush was on the cusp of introducing legislation that would institute mandatory burkha-wear in public schools.

Kerry finally speaks. You are getting sleepy, very sleepy ...

He wasn't the worst that I've ever heard him, but it was definitely stale. Notice the looks of carefully projected interest and satisfaction on the faces of the son and the holy spirit. Now watch as their expressions change ever-so-slightly ...

... when shouting erupts from the right of the crowd in front of the stage.

Good Catholics don't kill children! Good Catholics don't kill children!

To his credit, Kerry only paused for a second, imperceptibly shook his head and pressed on. From my vantage point I could only see that members of the crowd were forming a wall with their placards to block the voices and line-of-site of the party-crashers. Drawn by the conflict, I immediately ferreted over to their position.

This is a confusing image, but focus on the red circle placard in the center; behind it is the face of one of the protestors. The woman in the pink shirt to the left is the other one. What were most likely NARAL representatives linked arms and formed a human chain around the two people, dragging them towards the exit.

You can make out the guy's face with the placard over his mouth.

This is a good shot. The protestors are the man in the blue and the woman in the pink.

Freedom of the press silenced! Witness the crushing of dissent in John Ashcroft's America!

I was following the surge along, trying to snap pictures on a failing battery, when I felt a push and saw a hand in my face. One of the women in the foreground of one of the previous shots began blocking me and shouting:

"You can't take pictures of that!"

I immediately lost it. I'm not sure what pissed me off more - their attempt to block the photos or the fact that she put her hands on me.

Me: (with quite a bit of aggression) Get your hands off of me right now, and yes, I can take pictures!

Her: Are you with THEM?!

Me (Pushing past her and continuing to snap away): NO, I'M NOT WITH THEM!

Her (Continuing to follow me): You can't take pictures of me, I've gotten death threats, been on death lists!"

Me: I don't want to take pictures of you, and you're going to be on another one in a second if you don't get the Hell away from me ...

She finally fell off my scent and melted back into the crowd. I tried to get some better long shots, but the battery was almost done now; I had to keep turning the camera on and off to mine the last bit of juice. At points the dragging was more dramatic than these pictures may indicate.

A final shot of the NARAL gals doing the "Kerry-Katch-Em" ...

It's of course understandable that these people had to be removed, but I'd be curious to know the legality involved with the crowd forcibly removing them. I was surprised that they weren't asked to leave by professional security personnel. An amusing footnote - I spied one of the secret service dudes on the perimeter chuckling about the hub-bub.

Pro-Life protestors were circling the block with blaring loudspeakers and graphically-adorned trucks.

I disagree with these people; I think that the reality of life renders abortion as a much less black-and-white issue. That being said, if one has strong religious convictions that define the beginning of valid life as taking place at conception, I can understand the vehemence of their argument. I disagree, and personally find the rhetoric of these folks scary; but I understand. Somewhat. This issue will merit a more specific consideration in a forthcoming INDC post.

I'd had enough and my adrenaline was surging. I'd been slightly annoyed by the hyperbolic rhetoric, put to sleep by Kerry's cadence, amused by the musings of the crowd and filled with white-hot anger at being pushed and blocked by the NARAL woman. Definitely time to go home.

I kept an eye on the news coverage last night, and I don't think that any major outlets made mention of the disruption. You get the inside scoop here at INDC.

This guy looked at me on my way out - yeah Sparky, people do suck.

Update: A fellow weblogger has more details on protestors forcibly removed from the event that you may want to read.