I did wonder about the whole "screw" vs "screw over" differential, but I decided to just go with Moore's words, because he is the poet laureate of the left these days and far be it from me to alter his wise discourse.

I'm thinking I'll oppress the Irish. Yeah, definitely the Irish.

Went up to one of the girls in HR and said, "Fluffy cute kittens drowned in a burlap bag."

Well, she started crying. Depression of a minority complete.

What was that? Ohhhh! Oppression. That may take some work.

The IRISH? Don't waste your time with those potato eaters. Oppression is what makes want to get up in the morning for their first drink.

"Ah, 'tis a foyne mornin'," they say as the rooster does its thing. "Not a famine in the offing, an my whiskey sure does be lookin' right as rain. Begorah! 'Tis time to get up and start complainin' about being oppressed, it 'tis. God damn the queen! And possibly the Catholics, unless I sober up and remember that I'm Catholic meself!"

See? They're friggin' nuts, all of 'em.

Me? I'm in California, so I'm pretty much stuck with oppressing Mexicans.

Just kidding about the whole Irish thing, of course. Being more or less of Scottish descent, I got a soft spot in my heart (and several in my head) for those blarney-yakkin' pub jockeys.

I was initially leaning towards oppressing the Fiji Islanders, however, after spending the better part of a morning trying to come up with an effective slur-I mean a good one, a new classic!-I'm completely out of ideas. So, I moved on to oppressing Asians. The first thing I did was to call my doctor, unfortunately, he was on the golf course. So, then I approached a lead programmer here at work, a VP who drives a Lexus and slyly ridiculed him because his daughter could only get into Stanford Law--pretty good oppressing, eh? That'll show them!

Okay, I think I'm getting the hang of this. After moving up from attempting to oppress the people of the Fiji Islands to Asians in general, I finally found success! While discussing options with my broker, I managed to throw in what I think was a very supercilious reference to junk bonds--get it!? junk? like the little Chinese boats? Nice one, eh! Sadly, in retrospect I think this may have been lost since we then got into a discussion about my 401(k) and then he had to leave for the airport for a trip to the Bahamas. However, I did refuse his offer to bring me back a souvenir with a haughty "No, thank you" Now who's superior, huh!

I'm going to focus my energies on lesbian Eskimos. It may take some time to find an opportunity for this oppression, as I live in Bethesda, MD, but I am a patient woman, and full of vitriol.

heh, equal oppotunity screwer. i use that term all the time.

and i like the prospect of screwing the irish. i just asked little sersha how she likes speaking english all the time!

she's angry, very angry. i had to flee her cubicle!

worrying about what M.M says is like worrying about what R.L says.

What's the point? they're both extremists, though to be fair to Moore's not nearly as bad as Limbaugh. Who is the king of extremist views and hypocrisy.

No off topic crap, Ben - who are you going to oppress today?

I consider myself an equal opportunity oppressor, being as the whole screwing thing is pretty few and far between these days. Sigh.

Anyway. I hereby declare my intentions to oppress myself today, as I appear to be the only Republican within the great state of New Jersey.

I'm a right-wing fascist cracker!

Ow, that hurt...

Yoopers.

'Cause I'm a troll.

So the Asian girl from Risk Management came by the office and I sang this song from 'Aida' at her.

Amneris:
Every story, tale or memoir
Every saga or romance
Whether true or fabricated
Whether planned or happenstance

Whether sweeping through the ages
Casting centuries aside
Or a hurried brief recital
Just a thirty-minute ride

Whether bright or melancholy
Rough and ready, finely spun
Whether with a thousand players
Or a lonely cast of one

Every story, new or ancient
Bagatelle or work of art
All are tales of human failing
All are tales of love at heart

I, like, totally Opera-essed her.

Huh? Wrong again you say?

Damn, this is hard.

Groooaaan ...

This is hard, though.

what's a yooper?

Dunno. I think he meant "you" like "yoopers," meaning me.

BTW - it's almost like the end of the workday, and I ahve no more oppression ideas. Considering the fact that I was oppressed on the elevator this morning, I'm running a negative oppression balance.

This is sad.

I thought "yooper" was a reference to people of the Upper Peninusua of Michegan. I.e., the U.P., or "Yoop".

Oh, and I'll be oppressing Italian Americans today. And since I am one, I won't even have to leave the house to do it!

That's not really fair; I get the impression that Mrs. Urban Farmhouse takes care of oppressing you just fine ...

I'm sorry, I intend on Oppressing the Opressers.

So, I've asked everyone in the office if they have felt oppressed by me at any time today. Most just said no, however, the girl from HR that I made cry today said,"You're just a younger middle-aged white guy who is an admin assistant, who's gonna be oppressed by you? Now go file something, bitch!"

Now that was some fine oppressing.

That's ok man. I give you an 'A' for effort. And I believe that your title is "man-secretary..."

(now how's that for oppressing?)

I'm being oppressed! Oppressed by the white-devil that is Bill! Oh woe is me, my self-esteem is shot and I probably won't be able to get into college without some kinda of law being passed to put me and my fellow man-secretaries on par with my oppressors.

Shut up and get me some coffee, toots.

PETA... Yea that's it, I'll oppress the dog snot out of PETA.

They are a minority, correct? Damm I hope so.

Marc,

Call them PETArds while eating some KFC and wearing a fur coat. They really hate that.

Well, um. Good luck with that, Ben. We'll probably all be having way too much fun to notice, though.

I'm not very good at oppressing :-(

The Ainu--they've been getting WAY too uppity lately.

It's okay...neither am I, really...

for the record -

Yooper - a resident of Michigan's Upper Peninsula
Troll - a resident of Michigan's Lower Peninsula

Troll is a yooper term for those who live "below" the Mackinac Bridge.

Okay, I'm jus' getting up and getting to this thread; yeah I know it's late in the afternoon, but that Jameson's Whiskey is a harsh mistress and I don't have a job anymore (but I digress...)

I gotta agree with Rusty Shackleford:
I want to opress some Irish today--damn lazy drunken bastards! F**k the Iri....heeeeeyyy, wait a minute!

I posted about screwing minorities here. I'm just that Evil...