A Macroglossius lunarius incontinentis caught in mid-stream.

In Dr. Haight's encounter, the moonbat urinated on her car when she was away from the vehicle, thus implicating the Macroglossius variety shown above. Both species instinctively void themselves upon seeing any form of Bush-Cheney iconography, but the Desmodius would have laid in wait for her return and actually attempted to void itself on the good doctor, not on her car. In either case, the Glock bumper sticker that she mentions in her report is an ineffective deterrent, though a Glock itself would certainly be helpful in the face of a live assault by an attacking Desmodius.

When living and working in an area of the country that is rife with Shy Peeing Moonbats, it is absolutely essential to outfit your research vehicle with the appropriate repellent equipment. The Blaster Moonbat Defense Kit is available for about $655, easily snaps to the vehicle's undercarriage, and is highly effective when modified with the optional remote urine sensor.

A demonstration of the Blaster in action.

I wouldn't take an automobile into the field without it. Thank you for your helpful and informative submission, Dr. Haight, and keep up the fantastic work!

On another note, I've also received quite a bit of correspondence enquiring as to the etymological origins of the word "moonbat." There are two theories behind the term's origin, and neither is mutually exclusive:

1. It is a play on the name of the infamous columnist George Monbiot, noted for his remarkable ability to learn the human language and prolifically approximate punditry for a large circulation British newspaper. It's important to note that contrary to popular conception, Monbiot is not the father of some mystical bloodline; killing him will not in fact cause all other moonbats to revert to human form. Despite the wishful thinking of some, Moonbats are an eternal corollary of mankind.

2. It's also a simple descriptive term, effectively marrying the legendary "lunacy" associations of lunar mythology with the rather unattractive characteristics of flying rodentia. A wonderful serial treatise on this theory was written by my colleagues at the Barking Moonbat Early Warning System:

Part One
Part Two

Having studied moonbats in their natural habitats for many years now, I can only say that whatever the origin, the term is a stroke of brilliant accuracy; when I witness the live behavior of one of these fascinating creatures, the term "moonbat" just ... feels right.

Cheerio. Until next time.