Look around, the signs are everywhere: bloggers dropping off the face of the planet with nary a warning; grizzled veterans taking suddenly announced breaks or stepping back from the brink of warblogging exacerbated anxiety; even typically flawless comedians dropping schtick to bravely announce that they are battling this silent killer.

Where did it originate? It's believed that this year's insiduous strain was spread from mainland China, likely making the jump from animals to humans via the consumption of the testicles of endangered Guizhou snub-nosed monkeys, a creature widely known to zoologists as "the angry pundit of the animal kingdom." The human index case is believed to be this blogger, who was infected with the disease after eating Guizhou-nut nacho dip at a Beijing Spring Festival party in late January.

Playing with fire: a party platter of candied-BBQ Guizhou snub-nosed monkey balls.

The bad news? The disease is rampant, painful and has the capability to permanently cripple a blogger. Observe these scans of an anonymous subject recently afflicted with stage four SMBS:

The good news? With aggressive treatment, that very subject has almost completely recovered and now blogs at a reasonable approximation of his former glory. In addition ...

Doctors Rindall, Johnson, Schmidt and VanClyburn.

... some of the world's most highly qualified scientists are furiously racing to isolate the pathogen and synthesize a cure. Also, Atrios may yet contract a chronically debilitating form of the disease.

In the meantime, there are several common-sense steps that you can take to control this epidemic:

1. Take a break from the news - discover your inner cat-blogger.

2. Just go ahead and ban that troll - it's refreshing.

3. Drop the pretense of highbrow discourse - go ahead and tell someone to "fuck-off" in one of your comment threads.

4. Don't be afraid to take a few days off completely. Announce your break, set a timeframe and send them off to INDC Journal; your readers will return. And I'll send them back, I swear.

5. Entertain the idea of employing a temporary guest-blogger.

6. Stop eating Guizhou snub-nosed monkey balls.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I'd like to take this opportunity to publically announce that I've been silently suffering from this condition since Monday. I'm sure that you've noticed - I've been slow-witted, lazy and really just posting a bunch of horseshit. Even this post is simply horrible; for this, I am truly sorry.

Please take note of my symptoms:

* Irritability
* Poor concentration
* Inability to fisk the New York Times
* Loss of "sense of well-being" and desire to post
* Painful burning sensation and iridescent discharge while urinating

After initially shrugging off the warning signs, I finally gave in and saw a doctor yesterday. He advised bed rest, light posting, three days without politics and curiously, a single 500 mg dose of Ciprofloxacin and seven days of Doxycycline 100 mg orally, twice a day.

I believe that I will recover; I must recover. If you or someone that you know comes down with any of these symptoms, do the blogosphere a favor - nip it in the bud and seek help before it does permanent damage. The blog you save could be your own.

Thank you.

UPDATE: Another SBMS sufferer in denial. This is a classic case of diversion; afflicted bloggers consistently offer excuses like "I'm busy," or "my real life is just really fantastically cool and action-packed right now" and such. Don't be fooled; this man is crying for help.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Yet another sign of the raging epidemic ...

YET ANOTHER UPDATE: FLASH! A supplemental report can be found here.

YET ANOTHER UPDATE(!): Another case documented at Instapundit.