"Excuse me. Could I please have some sprinkles on my vanilla botox cone?"

"My, it is simply astounding how poor people live, eating this ice cream, and surrounded by all of this alumin-ee-um."

I know I voted for vanilla, but I changing my vote to chocolate!

I didn't mean to take a leak on your store. But I did because I mean what I say. And I mean it.

"What? Those Secret Service S.O.B.'s can buy their own damn cones!"

"Hey, did you know that my friend, Al Gore, invented the ice cream cone?"

Barely a week after the election, John Kerry learns the ropes of his new career, the electorate having left him for George Bush and Theresa having left him for Dennis Kucinich.

"Can I just get the Whole Box of Ice Cream? I'm supposed to bring some back for Ted Kennedy."

Hmmm. That botox didn't work too well after all.

HA! +1 for Perfectsense.

I actually voted for vanilla right before I voted for chocolate!

You know this ice cream reminds me of when I was in Viet Nam . . .

So this is the Bush administration's idea of an "insourced job".

When asked by reporters about the incident, Kerry replied sharply, "I don't drop my cones. The son of a b**** knocked off my second scoop."

I hope that's my blue bus. I thought I liked vanilla, but now I think I don't like vanilla. Oh look! It's a short bus... My ride's here! My ride's here!

Osama, I know you're in there. If you come out, I have something nice for you. Can't we just get along.

Smithers, I'm really enjoying this so-called "iced cream"...

One scoop? Do you know who I am?

Pssst! Bush! Are you still out there? Stop being a peeping tom! Your ice cream is melting. I'm going to eat it if you don't get back in here right now!

Hi. I know I ordered vanilla, but can I get something a little more "lively". My campaign strategists think it's a good idea if I eat something with color. I do what they tell me. Remember when I didn't smile at the beginning of the campaign? Well, they told me to smile more and have more fun, then I won all the primaries and caucuses and all that. Is that right? Caucuses? Or is it cauci? What's the plural of that? Anyway, something other than vanilla please. Sure, mint chocolate chip would be fine.

"Thanks Mom, now I only need to deliver on 9,999,999 more jobs when I'm president."

So...this is that "work" thing...sucks.

Whoaaa!!!

That'a a big truck!

You must be from Texas.

What? No this is not a Dairy Queen, and no we do not have dipped-cones. Do you know who I am?

I like f***ing ice cream. I really do.

John F. Kerry on the campaign trail today, asked if he could returned his free ice-cream, it wasn't French Vanilla.

Can I have fries with that?

Maybe she will bend over again if I order another one.

When I look at mommy like this she gives me some extra good luving, but I'd settle for a scoop of chocolate.

I haven't had ice cream this good since I was in Vietnam. Hey, get that boom mike outta my ass!

Bush aint got no icecream, Bush aint got no icecream.

When I was in Vietnam - I told you I served in Vietnam right? - our ice cream was made of rice.

Is this where the poor people live?

What? I served in Viet Nam, and all I get is a lousy f**king ICE CREAM CONE?!?!

Its a good thing you can't win, Bill, because yours is great- "can I have a waffle cone"??
ROTFLMAO!!!

"No, Sir. When I said 'lick me' I was speaking for the cone. No, Sir. I don't consider myself a comedian...."

Gawly, gawly, gawly Seargent Carter. So that's what Air Force One looks like hey?

"Scuze me... I be a student of rap music. Where the chocolate at?!"

I guess Mr. Bush is right. There are lots of fabulous new jobs like this one!

1: Having lost his bid for the White House, John Kerry finds a job for which he is far better suited.

2: Is this French Vanilla made with real French?

3:You mean I gotta keep eating this crap until these F'ing news people get their F'ing photographs taken?

4: They say if I eat enough of this, I won't need the injections anymore.

"I will never sacrifice American soldiers just so the ice cream moguls can have cheap milk! . . . wait . . . No, I mean . . . "

hmm...so this is what a 'business' looks like...

Excuse Me! Can I please have a band-aid? I seemed to have scratched my finger on your metal window frame here. Also, could you please type up a letter of reccommendation for me? I need to submit it to try and get my 4th Purple Heart.

Oh man..this can't be good. I'm at a black church aiming for the 'next black president' vote and all we have is Vanilla ice cream. Kinda like bringing in a set of sheets isn't it?

Kerry: Do you know who I am?

Cashier: Yes sir, that'll be $22.74... plus tax.

Hey, Ted, try this. It's that new vodka icecream.

Excuse me? I asked for *French* vanilla.

When I was in Vietnam, the ice cream was better than this. Thanks to George Bush's irresponsible economic policies, you can't get good ice cream in America any more. American ice cream makers have moved their production offshore, and they've done it unilaterally. When I was eating ice cream in the Mekong delta, I . . .

Is my partner here...officer Toody? We gotta go...

...there's a holdup...in the Bronx..."

Still shamelessly self promoting, John Kerry requests a Heinz ketchup topping from the cashier who has ruthlessly cut off the ears and put electrical wires to the genitals of the cashier at the competing ice cream store down the street.

Is this Kosher?

"Where's my taster?"

N. O'Brain
Imperial Minister of Useless Information

"Is this the place to audition for the remake of American Beauty?"

I ASKED FOR FRENCH VANILLA, AND YOU F****D IT UP! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

Ahhh, my little frozen friend, again we meet. Time for another famous Kerry Brain Freeze. Yes, that's it... Daddy's little helper is kicking in right about... now!

Time to talk to that camera behind me before those pesky coherent thoughts run into my head again.

"Hey, John, why the long face? Lose your top scoop?"

"I like Chocolate, except when I like vanilla, but I want French Vanilla. You know I served in Vietnam right? You expect me to eat this?"

1. Hmmm, wonder if there are any WMDs in here?

2. My hamster has a bigger cage than this!

"Hey, I don't mean to be a bother, but could you give me my change in a 1 trillion dollar bill? My budget for the next fiscal year needs some reallocation of funds."

Napkins made out of paper... what a great idea...Oh look! I'm on TV.

Howard Dean said to put this WHERE? Well, I wouldn't mind so much if it were tapered on BOTH ends, but if it will get the Deaniacs behind me ...

"So this is where the commoners recieve their 'iced cream deserts'? Ah, how quaint...and dirty. These middle-class, working people that own this store should hire some maids, maybe butlers. I don't see why they can't!"

http://permanentrevolution.tripod.com/fkerry.html

"Is that vanilla\chocolate swirl?!? BRING...IT...ON!!!"

Whoa...that is either a tall ladder or a very short skirt.

Hello, I'm Herman Munster, and I'll be your server today.

1 - John Kerry demonstrates the metrosexual way of holding an ice-cream cone.

2 - "You know, this window reminds me of the window in the helm of the patrol boat I served on in Vietnam. You couldn't get good ice cream in Vietnam, though. It was always too hot and the ice-cream melted. But when I was getting treated for my three purple hearts, then I got good ice cream. But I couldn't enjoy it because I'd always remember my shipmates fighting out there in Vietnam."

"Can I please have this one for free? My wife says I've spent all my allowance for the week."

This is cool! These guys let me super-size my face!

No, I'll never use botox again. Not since I found the New Improved Facial-sized Preparation H with the Wrinkle-smooth Applicator!

(yes, it works. Old theatre make-up trick for smoothing wrinkles around the eyes.)

"I do not drop ice cream off my cones. This was much higher until the sumbitch Secret Service agent knocked into me."

"Hello, I'm an idiot but I brought ice-cream. Can I be president?"

La glace! Toujours la glace!